CHLOE
She has had a tough week. She came home on the last day of school sick. I was hoping it was the fact that she had lots of Christmas treats before eating lunch.
Unfortunately, it dragged on and on.
Last year the week before Christmas, Chloe was admitted to the hospital. We were there for a week and that is when we found out just how serious her condition was. We were all so thankful to leave the hospital on Christmas Day, eating sushi for lunch and heading to our home, not filled with decorations but with love and thankfulness to our Heavenly Father.
So, to have Chloe sick again the week before Christmas was very concerning to say the least. I know Chloe also sensed the stress. She was asked several times about her symptoms, her temperature was taken frequently, and fluids were given around the clock.
We could see and test for the physical symptoms but it was the emotional symptoms we were unable to detect until after three days of being sick. As I was administering to some of her needs, she started crying. With some coaxing, she finally told me she was afraid she was going to have to go back to China. She thought she could not be "fixed" and would therefore have to return.
She had several breakdowns like this during the week even with Greg and I reassuring her that she was here to stay with us not matter what. We loved her fixed or not fixed.
Oh, the rationalizations these children come up with to make sense of the "orphaned world" they live in or have lived in. Rationalizations that take lots of time to work through. It saddens me to think of all the orphans out there that not only go without their physical needs being met but their emotional needs as well.
Physical needs can be met quite easily with donations of money. It is the emotional needs that are harder to administer to. The longer the emotional needs go unmet, the harder it is for these kids to work through the past and to heal the hurts.
Chloe shared that she was not only heartbroken because she thought she was not fixable and would have to return to China.
This Christmas week she also shared that she missed her friends from China. As I hugged her and told her, I missed them also it made me that more determined to fight for these kids. I want to give my daughter the desire of her heart. Her tears are my fuel to keep trying to make a difference for her friends and ones like them. As I thought about this, I realized my Heavenly Father feels the same for me when I tell Him the desires of my heart.
My New Years Resolution is to cry out to my Father without ceasing for the sake of the orphan.
James 1:27
New International Version (NIV)
27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Christmas is Hope
Wow, it has been so long since I have blogged. So many little twists and turns have happened that I felt the need to sit back and see watch the threads being woven into the tapestry God is making of me.
I recently read a book by Henry Blackaby. In it he shared a story of a friend who had bought two highly trained hunting dogs. He worked with them daily and they were quiet the example of dedication, devotion and discipline to their master. One day when his dogs were out back an English Bulldog came squeezing under the fence. At first the friend thought he should bring the dogs in but he decided to let them teach the Bulldog a lesson. The three dogs went round and round with no lack of hair, saliva and grunts being thrown through the air. The Bulldog finally had his fill and slunk back under the fence leaving defeated. The next day at the same time the same Bulldog returns dragging himself under the fence to have another "play date" with the hunting dogs. The Bulldog meets the same results and once again crawls under the fence gong home defeated once more. Well, the friend has to leave town for a week long conference and his wife is left in charge of the prized hunting dogs. Her husband neglects to tell her about the evening visitor that comes calling each day. It is not long before she finds out on her own. Her husband returns home after his week long conference and after checking hurriedly checking on his wife inquires of the welfare of his dogs. She told him of the bulldog that came every evening at the same time, under the fence, fought with the dogs and left defeated until one day. About mid-week of her husband's absence, the hunting dogs had had enough of the bulldog. Now when the hunting dogs hear the bulldog snorting as he came under the fence they would take off running and barking into the safety of the basement as the Bulldog struts around the backyard in triumph.
My husband has always wanted an English Bulldog and when we moved here to Colorado we were privileged to be chosen to rehabilitate two English Bullies. Their tenacious stubbornness can be one of the most frustrating or respected traits they have. They are also faithful, protective and devoted. When I read the story retold to you above, I laughed knowingly the whole way through and had to immediately read it to my husband.
Throughout Greg's military career we have both felt like Bulldogs.
Throughout our adoption quests we have felt like Bulldogs.
Most recently, throughout our quest for Noah and Rhys, we have felt like Bulldogs.
We were told on 9 December that we would be allowed to help support Noah, Rhys and their classmates who live at the orphanage.
The children will be able to have a tutor and winter coats provided for the small amount of money we donate each month. Although, I want to do so much more. I will be content and patient with God has allowed us to do at this point. The girls also are very excited about being able to be a part of their "friends" lives. The week before Christmas I shared this story of my girls with another adoptive mom.
I have made some big food purchases as I have recently joined Costco. Our purchases have come home in the big, sturdy, Washington, apple boxes.
The girls decided to make dog beds of them and pretend to be dogs. After tripping over the boxes in the living room a few days I told the girls to take them to their rooms. One night last week, after I tucked them in, I heard them in their room talking. They had decided to sleep in the well blanketed and pillowed boxes so Noah and Rhys could sleep in their bunk beds. They were discussing which boy would want to sleep on top. After they fell asleep in their boxes, I went in again to tuck them back into their beds. This went on for several nights until I convinced them they would feel much better sleeping in their own beds all night.
So, fast forward! The girls are going through the advertisements in the Sunday paper and circling what they want for Christmas. They hand me the Target flyer and I started going through it. They had several toys circled of course. But then, I get to the more mundane things in the flyer and have noticed the girls circled princess flannel sheets and pajamas. I marveled over how practicable and smart my girls were. However, I then get to the air mattress that is circled.
I inquired about this. The girls told me that they could sleep on the inflatable mattress instead of the boxes so Noah and Rhys could sleep in their bunk beds. I try to explain that the boys have beds. Chloe comes back with the hard wood beds they have to sleep in at the orphanage. It seemed I could not find anything to satisfy them. Eventually they got interested in a board game and I thought the issue was put to rest for the night. You are right, NO. After I tucked them into bed last night, Chloe began crying. I went to check on her and she told me her friends would never come. How do you comfort the aching in this little girls big heart.
Well, right now we do it through letters we will be able to send, pictures we will be able to receive because of our sponsorship and most importantly our prayers.
God is not done yet. My aching heart for these boys and my tenacious stubbornness caused me to have "myopia" as another adoptive friend once said. I knew I needed to find something to focus my attention on. What I found, after seeking to volunteer in several different areas was World Orphans.
World Orphans' VisionExtreme poverty, chronic disease, conflict, starvation, prostitution, natural disasters and countless other tragedies have combined to produce a truly global pandemic of orphaned and abandoned children. These children are subject to severe abuse and exploitation and often die on the streets, neglected and alone.
When we look at the great social issues of this century – poverty, hunger, HIV/AIDS, child soldiers, and trafficking – there is a common link, the orphan. A child orphaned by HIV/AIDS who is left alone to find food, possibly even caring for younger siblings, will often turn to prostitution. This in turn leads the child to contract HIV/AIDS and perpetuates a vicious cycle.
By stepping in to prevent, delay and rescue orphaned children, we can break these cycles and change more than just the number of orphans.
Orphans Rescued
World Orphans is committed to rescuing millions of orphaned and abandoned children, strengthening indigenous churches, and impacting communities with the gospel of Jesus Christ through church-based orphan prevention, rescue, care and transition programs in the least reached areas of the world.
Indigenous Churches Strengthened
Local churches all over the world are Christ’s front line of care and outreach. World Orphans believes that all ministries – including orphan care – should be owned by the local church. These church leaders know the needs of their community and how best to meet them.
World Orphans has carefully selected key strategic cities with high populations of orphaned and abandoned children and the greatest need for stronger churches. Major cities are often the political, social, economic and religious centers for their countries. Because of their status and influence, they serve as the gateways for the gospel for their nations.
Communities Transformed
When a community sees a local church feeding the hungry, providing medical care and taking in orphans, they see the love of Christ. As the church becomes the “hands and feet” of Christ the community is transformed and the church becomes an integral part of that society. As the children are cared for by the church they become a living example of the power of Christ’s love and a powerful witness to their friends and neighbors.
If you would like to help or would like to know more about this, please allow me to share with you!
I recently read a book by Henry Blackaby. In it he shared a story of a friend who had bought two highly trained hunting dogs. He worked with them daily and they were quiet the example of dedication, devotion and discipline to their master. One day when his dogs were out back an English Bulldog came squeezing under the fence. At first the friend thought he should bring the dogs in but he decided to let them teach the Bulldog a lesson. The three dogs went round and round with no lack of hair, saliva and grunts being thrown through the air. The Bulldog finally had his fill and slunk back under the fence leaving defeated. The next day at the same time the same Bulldog returns dragging himself under the fence to have another "play date" with the hunting dogs. The Bulldog meets the same results and once again crawls under the fence gong home defeated once more. Well, the friend has to leave town for a week long conference and his wife is left in charge of the prized hunting dogs. Her husband neglects to tell her about the evening visitor that comes calling each day. It is not long before she finds out on her own. Her husband returns home after his week long conference and after checking hurriedly checking on his wife inquires of the welfare of his dogs. She told him of the bulldog that came every evening at the same time, under the fence, fought with the dogs and left defeated until one day. About mid-week of her husband's absence, the hunting dogs had had enough of the bulldog. Now when the hunting dogs hear the bulldog snorting as he came under the fence they would take off running and barking into the safety of the basement as the Bulldog struts around the backyard in triumph.
My husband has always wanted an English Bulldog and when we moved here to Colorado we were privileged to be chosen to rehabilitate two English Bullies. Their tenacious stubbornness can be one of the most frustrating or respected traits they have. They are also faithful, protective and devoted. When I read the story retold to you above, I laughed knowingly the whole way through and had to immediately read it to my husband.
Throughout Greg's military career we have both felt like Bulldogs.
Throughout our adoption quests we have felt like Bulldogs.
Most recently, throughout our quest for Noah and Rhys, we have felt like Bulldogs.
We were told on 9 December that we would be allowed to help support Noah, Rhys and their classmates who live at the orphanage.
The children will be able to have a tutor and winter coats provided for the small amount of money we donate each month. Although, I want to do so much more. I will be content and patient with God has allowed us to do at this point. The girls also are very excited about being able to be a part of their "friends" lives. The week before Christmas I shared this story of my girls with another adoptive mom.
I have made some big food purchases as I have recently joined Costco. Our purchases have come home in the big, sturdy, Washington, apple boxes.
The girls decided to make dog beds of them and pretend to be dogs. After tripping over the boxes in the living room a few days I told the girls to take them to their rooms. One night last week, after I tucked them in, I heard them in their room talking. They had decided to sleep in the well blanketed and pillowed boxes so Noah and Rhys could sleep in their bunk beds. They were discussing which boy would want to sleep on top. After they fell asleep in their boxes, I went in again to tuck them back into their beds. This went on for several nights until I convinced them they would feel much better sleeping in their own beds all night.
So, fast forward! The girls are going through the advertisements in the Sunday paper and circling what they want for Christmas. They hand me the Target flyer and I started going through it. They had several toys circled of course. But then, I get to the more mundane things in the flyer and have noticed the girls circled princess flannel sheets and pajamas. I marveled over how practicable and smart my girls were. However, I then get to the air mattress that is circled.
I inquired about this. The girls told me that they could sleep on the inflatable mattress instead of the boxes so Noah and Rhys could sleep in their bunk beds. I try to explain that the boys have beds. Chloe comes back with the hard wood beds they have to sleep in at the orphanage. It seemed I could not find anything to satisfy them. Eventually they got interested in a board game and I thought the issue was put to rest for the night. You are right, NO. After I tucked them into bed last night, Chloe began crying. I went to check on her and she told me her friends would never come. How do you comfort the aching in this little girls big heart.
Well, right now we do it through letters we will be able to send, pictures we will be able to receive because of our sponsorship and most importantly our prayers.
God is not done yet. My aching heart for these boys and my tenacious stubbornness caused me to have "myopia" as another adoptive friend once said. I knew I needed to find something to focus my attention on. What I found, after seeking to volunteer in several different areas was World Orphans.
World Orphans' VisionExtreme poverty, chronic disease, conflict, starvation, prostitution, natural disasters and countless other tragedies have combined to produce a truly global pandemic of orphaned and abandoned children. These children are subject to severe abuse and exploitation and often die on the streets, neglected and alone.
When we look at the great social issues of this century – poverty, hunger, HIV/AIDS, child soldiers, and trafficking – there is a common link, the orphan. A child orphaned by HIV/AIDS who is left alone to find food, possibly even caring for younger siblings, will often turn to prostitution. This in turn leads the child to contract HIV/AIDS and perpetuates a vicious cycle.
By stepping in to prevent, delay and rescue orphaned children, we can break these cycles and change more than just the number of orphans.
Orphans Rescued
World Orphans is committed to rescuing millions of orphaned and abandoned children, strengthening indigenous churches, and impacting communities with the gospel of Jesus Christ through church-based orphan prevention, rescue, care and transition programs in the least reached areas of the world.
Indigenous Churches Strengthened
Local churches all over the world are Christ’s front line of care and outreach. World Orphans believes that all ministries – including orphan care – should be owned by the local church. These church leaders know the needs of their community and how best to meet them.
World Orphans has carefully selected key strategic cities with high populations of orphaned and abandoned children and the greatest need for stronger churches. Major cities are often the political, social, economic and religious centers for their countries. Because of their status and influence, they serve as the gateways for the gospel for their nations.
Communities Transformed
When a community sees a local church feeding the hungry, providing medical care and taking in orphans, they see the love of Christ. As the church becomes the “hands and feet” of Christ the community is transformed and the church becomes an integral part of that society. As the children are cared for by the church they become a living example of the power of Christ’s love and a powerful witness to their friends and neighbors.
So, this Christmas, we have lots of hope.
"O Little Town of Bethlehem"
"The hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight."
"O Little Town of Bethlehem"
"The hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight."
If you would like to help or would like to know more about this, please allow me to share with you!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
God's Providence
Oh, how I love it!
As a teenager, I remember praying to make a difference in this world.
As a young married woman, I remember how I wanted to break a cycle I observed in my family.
As a mom with my first born, I remember being angry at the things I needed to overcome.
Being imperfect in an imperfect world surrounded by imperfect people, it is a wonder we can make anything good of our lives.
There in lies the problem. I cannot make anything good of my lie. It is only through the grace of God and His providence that I allow Him to write my story which will make a difference in this world.
In my mid-forties, a clay jar formed by the first 24 years, broken and reshaped over the next 21 years and counting, I am seeing God's providence in my life. God's story and not mine. Yes, it was hard and I had my times when I thought all I was going through was too much and it was not fair.
Then I remembered why Jesus was sent to earth.
His role to play here? Curse
"Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: For it is written, 'Cursed is everyone that hangeth on a tree". Galatians 3:13
My purpose here on earth? Cheesecake!
I am humbled by God's providence. His providence is "that preservation, care and government which God exercises over all things that He has created, in order that they may accomplish the ends for which they were created" -- ISBE, p. 2476.
I continue to pray to make a difference as well as stop the cycle but now it is a much larger role I wish to play than the little circle of my immediate family.
As I see things unfold before my eyes I am amazed at the millions of little turn of events that have led me to the place I am now.
We dream such small dreams of what God is capable of. Lately I have been dreaming bigger and bigger. As I learn more about the men and women of the Bible, I have more faith. Men and women that are just like you and me. God has used them mightily above and beyond their imaginations and he wants to use us that way as well. I am dreaming bigger because I want God to blow me out of the water when He shows me He can do so much more that I can dream possible.
We have faced another closed door in the pursuit of our boys and the children that fall in the same category as they. I cried so hard the morning I got the email that yet another agency asked the same question to the same people who have no power to do anything. However, this gave me more resolution to fight harder and not to stop.
I want to be an Esther.
I want to free these children.
God cares for them.
He wants them to have families of their own.
Families that will point them to Him.
I humbly request Lord Jesus to be used by You.
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Matthew 19:14
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Finding my green thumb midlife, revealed to me my green heart
Greg and I have always joked about my lack of being able to maintain life for our potted plants. Early on, we decided silk plants were the way to go. We held onto many a silk tree throughout our Army life.
We military families start getting the itch to move about two years after an assignment. We have accepted, challenged and tackled our mission and now it is time for another charge. However, upon moving to Colorado, my luck seemed to change about a year ago. We have been in beautiful Black Forest, Colorado, for 3.5 years and Greg has turned in his retirement paperwork. When I realized we were indeed going to live in the same house more than three years. I discharged the silk trees and their years of dust and began collecting beautiful ceramic pots.
But, the pots were not the most exciting thing about being rooted here. Our sons will be able to graduate from the school they now attend and our girls will get to live in a home with a beautiful playground called nature right outside the strong walls of our home. A home that my dear husband bought for me because I desired trees after all our years of shared backyards with nary a tree.
As I was meditating on the sudden occurrence of this green thumb I had, it did not escape my thoughts that Greg's mom had passed away almost a year ago. Mrs. Gentry could make anything grow. Did she leave me this parting gift. A gift she and I knew would be near and dear to Greg's heart. No, I do not believe in such things.
Wait!
A realization hit me!
I love to water.
I love to nurture.
In the past, I had drowned all my plants by giving them too much.
Here, in Colorado, in the high desert, it is so dry and I have indoor tropical and succulent plants that love water.
We are the perfect match.
This began me thinking about my approach to mothering and our decision to home school the first 8 years of our sons' lives.
We chose to home school for several reasons:
1) Greg and I were both introverted and the constant change of schools every two years to make the schools more integrated was not a good fit for us. Our children due to Greg's military career would be uprooted every two years if not sooner.
2) Military bases are not placed in the best of school districts.
3) I was not ready to let go of my babies.
In the early years of homeschooling, everything went smoothly because I watered those boys and took care of them like no other.
However, as they began to get older I realized my husband was right and I had done too much for them. Some plants and some children just do not need to be over saturated.
The boys are in public school now. I listened to God's calling to do this and I have not regretted it one moment.
Why have I not regretted it?
No, it is not because I can sleep in and do whatever I want. It is because God has given me children that do meet my need to water, water, water and water one more time.
The orphan.
The neglected.
The abused.
The trafficked.
The forgotten.
I gave my boys up to God and He gave me 143 million children world wide that need the love of mom and dad.
Thank you God for my Green Heart and my green thumb.
In His Name,
Amy
Monday, October 24, 2011
I prayed for Tebow..silly but serious
Imagine our disappointment this year when we learned John Fox would be following us to Colorado to coach the Broncos.
North Carolina being our home state, we pulled for the Carolina Panthers up until this last year. Last year, we decided to plant ourselves in Colorado and with that we must pull for the home state team. Pulling for the Denver Broncos was not hard for me. As a young girl, with a crush on John Denver, I always wanted to live in Colorado. I have always had a Rocky Mountain High! Plus, pulling for the team that had Tim Tebow on it would be easy. A young man with the character that I pray my young men will have.
Unfortunately, with Fox's coaching, the Gentry family was fearful Tebow would not have a chance. Imagine my joy last week when Greg told me Fox would be playing Tebow this week. I prayed for this young man. Through all his patience and good sportsmanship during this season, I wanted him to be an example of character as well as success.
Due to an unrelenting illness, I slept through the football game. However, as I said before, I prayed this week for him. I slept peacefully knowing the game, although trivial in world peace, was in God's hands.
Oh, what an example I have set for myself to do the same with other issues in my life.
You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more.
Psalms 10:14,17-18
Psalms 10:14,17-18
I have prayed this weekend for my boys in China, for the China Center of Children's Welfare and Adotion, CCCWA, and for the orphanage. Greg and I have written a letter to the CCCWA and we are awaiting a response that the letter will be delivered.
Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.
Isaiah 1:17
Isaiah 1:17
Just as Tebow won in the final minutes of the Broncos/Dolphins game, my Lord will win as well.
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.
Proverbs 31:8-9
Proverbs 31:8-9
I will put it in his hands and rest.
Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.
Psalms 68:5-6
Psalms 68:5-6
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Allowing God
We are not fundamentally free; external circumstances are not in our hands, they are in God’s hands, the one thing in which we are free is in our personal relationship to God. We are not responsible for the circumstances we are in, but we are responsible for the way we allow those circumstances to affect us; we can either allow them to get on top of us, or we can allow them to transform us into what God wants us to be.
Conformed to His Image, 354 L
We celebrated Chloe's and my dear husband's birthdays on October 10th. How far we have come in just 13 months. Chloe's health is great, her prognosis is great and her desire to love us as her earthly parents has been confirmed.
Chloe came from external circumstances beyond her control. There were external circumstances that almost prevented her from being joined to our family. There were doctors that did not want us to bring her home. We fought however and I could not be more thankful for allowing God to work this miracle in our lives.
We are all faced with external circumstances that are beyond our control. Sometimes it does not seem fair that some of us appear to have greater things to overcome, but I believe that those obstacles can lead to a more fulfilling life, if only we allow God to use it for the good instead of Satan using it for evil.
Chloe has chosen to use her for the good.
I have chosen to use mine for the good.
There are still many obstacle in our path but with God we know where the path will end.
In His Name,
Amy
Saturday, October 1, 2011
In the house and on the street,
how many many feet you meet!
Feet have always been an obstacle for me, that is until I got my girls.
I hid my feet for many years because I was teased about them as a young girl.
However, when we brought home our first daughter, Rayea, at 18 months, I learned that love could be transmitted through the feet!
The only way I could soothe Raeya the first two sleepless weeks was to rub her feet. This was a wonderful lesson learned because the foot rubbings for our second daughter who did not like me for awhile, proved to be our connection as well.
Tonight as I painted the girl's toenails burgundy, pink, blue and purple, I marveled at the differences of their feet. Feet that I knew resembled the feet of their birth parents. Oh, how I would love to meet their parents, thank them, and introduce them to the most wonderful gift a person could give.
I pray for their birth parents.
I pray they are saved.
If not, I pray for their salvation.
I pray for the one whose beautiful feet will bring the Good News to them.
(Romans 10:15 NLT).
Feet have always been an obstacle for me, that is until I got my girls.
I hid my feet for many years because I was teased about them as a young girl.
However, when we brought home our first daughter, Rayea, at 18 months, I learned that love could be transmitted through the feet!
The only way I could soothe Raeya the first two sleepless weeks was to rub her feet. This was a wonderful lesson learned because the foot rubbings for our second daughter who did not like me for awhile, proved to be our connection as well.
Tonight as I painted the girl's toenails burgundy, pink, blue and purple, I marveled at the differences of their feet. Feet that I knew resembled the feet of their birth parents. Oh, how I would love to meet their parents, thank them, and introduce them to the most wonderful gift a person could give.
I pray for their birth parents.
I pray they are saved.
If not, I pray for their salvation.
I pray for the one whose beautiful feet will bring the Good News to them.
(Romans 10:15 NLT).
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Chloe's dream
One of the funest things I do with my girls is compare our dreams.
Yes, it most certainly develops into a contest but what creativity these young girls have.
One dream of Chloe's is to be a football player.
Chloe came home to us last year at the start of football season. Chloe liked no one but BaBa at the start of football season last year. Chloe developed a love for football like her BaBa.
She wants to be a football player.
If you have not heard me talk about "little" Chloe's size, she is quite petite. She can wear some 18 month clothes and most 2T clothes. She would never be a linebacker but what mom wants their son to be a linebacker?
I read another adoptive mom's blog this morning and was so touched by this video.
We are only limited by our imagination and our determination.
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. --Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
May He bless you richly,
Amy
Yes, it most certainly develops into a contest but what creativity these young girls have.
One dream of Chloe's is to be a football player.
Chloe came home to us last year at the start of football season. Chloe liked no one but BaBa at the start of football season last year. Chloe developed a love for football like her BaBa.
She wants to be a football player.
If you have not heard me talk about "little" Chloe's size, she is quite petite. She can wear some 18 month clothes and most 2T clothes. She would never be a linebacker but what mom wants their son to be a linebacker?
I read another adoptive mom's blog this morning and was so touched by this video.
We are only limited by our imagination and our determination.
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. --Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
May He bless you richly,
Amy
Sugar and spice and everything nice?
The way you see yourself now, as a grown woman, was shaped early in your life, in the years when you were a little girl. Women learn from their mothers what it means to be a woman, and from their fathers the value that a woman has - the value they have as a woman. If a woman is comfortable with her own femininity, her beauty, her strength, then the chances are good that her daughter will be too.
From our mothers we receive many, many things but foremost above them all is mercy and tenderness. When my sons were young and got hurt, their dad would say something encouraging like "cool wound." I would cradle them in my arms and tend their injury. Our mothers show us the merciful face of God. We are nurtured at their breasts and cradled in their arms. They rock us to sleep and sing us lullabies. Our youngest years are lived within the proximity of their apron strings and they care for us in all the meanings of the word. When we get hurt, moms kiss us and make it better.
Little girls need the tender strength of their fathers. They need to know that their daddies are strong and will protect them; they need to know that their fathers are for them.
From them, we learn that we are delighted in, that we are special or that we are not. How a father relates to his daughter has an enormous effect on her soul - for good or for evil. (Captivating, 61-62)
So, what if we did not have a mother or father that was able to do this for us? Maybe, hopefully, you had an aunt and uncle or grandmother and grandfather who were able to help with this role, no? Some may have had school teachers, neighbors, church members to step in and fill the gap. Some, maybe not.
Sadly too many do not. I was one of those children. I tell you this because I have been struggling with my posts. Posts that I did not want to come across as me being proud of "adopting" and "advocating".
It took many years for my heavenly Father to work in my life the things He has done. The healing that I needed and continue to need. It will take many more years for Him to complete His work in me. It is only by the grace of God that I have the blessings of a husband and children who love me. Would I want to relive my childhood again?
Selfishly, NO!
However, I know my childhood has given the heart wrenching desire to make sure no child ever has to feel the feelings I have felt and still struggle with to some degree today.
I feel like I know the heart of the orphans and my heart breaks several times a day as I long to make a difference in their lives.
So, the next time you run across an opportunity to donate to a cause that supports orphans, would you please consider giving. Or the next time you run into a child or teenager that seems to have built a wall around themselves for protection, please take the time to let them know they matter.
Lord, please fulfill the longings of my heart so I may bring glory to Your Name and Your Name alone.
Your humble servant,
Amy
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Someone able to put words to the the voices within my heart
This is a quote from another blog, one of my favorite blogs. I often feel no one understands, no one cares, and I must be just crazy. Well, I guess there is another crazy person out there.
I do not take joy in the fact that someone else is fighting a battle but I do take comfort in the fact I have found someone who understands. I pray their battles and mountains will quickly be overcome and that I might find strength, hope and faith by praying for them.
This is taken from the blog, "A Place Called Simplicity."
http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/
I pray you will follow this blog and pray for this family and that you will also pray for the boys born of our heart that they may be able to come home to us.
In His Name,
Amy
I do not take joy in the fact that someone else is fighting a battle but I do take comfort in the fact I have found someone who understands. I pray their battles and mountains will quickly be overcome and that I might find strength, hope and faith by praying for them.
This is taken from the blog, "A Place Called Simplicity."
http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/
The mountains are large but we know their creator. The waters are rough but our God says peace be still. The storms are pounding but God is our refuge.
Let's be honest - Satan hates the orphan. Do we really think he is going to give them up without a struggle. No way. He will raise hell to stop kids from coming home. We know our adversary, we know his tactics to discourage, and his plan - to take these kids captive for eternity. But Jesus overcame and his children were created to overcome as well!
You see adoption is more than giving a child an earthly forever family. Adoption is the ultimate discipleship.
Adoption is about introducing them to the one who planned their rescue in the first place. That they would know Jesus, that they would live for him, that God's plan for their lives would be discovered and lived out. That's what this is all about.
So we are not surprised Satan hates God's plan and throws everything against us.
Neither should you be surprised when you live out God's plan for your life that you will be attacked. So we take up the shield of faith to extinguish every fiery dart shot at us. Take it up with us will you. We really do count on all of you going to battle with us in prayer.
I pray you will follow this blog and pray for this family and that you will also pray for the boys born of our heart that they may be able to come home to us.
In His Name,
Amy
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Seeking.....trusting.....waiting
Just like a child, I don't get it sometimes. A child who cannot tell time innocently asks for a cookie 45 minutes before supper. Dad and mom have to say no because they know supper will be served soon and there is a special cake hiding in the refrigerator. Of course, the child is incensed at not being allowed to have this treat not knowing there is something more special planned if only they can wait for 90 minutes.
90 minutes can seem like an eternity to a child. However, I am sure Chloe would agree that the Oreo Cake she got for Gotcha Day after supper was much better than the two chocolate chip cookies she desired before supper!
Oh, for us also to wait on the timing of God.
Greg and I were once again told no in our pursuit to bring home Chloe's friends.
We know it is in God's hands.
We know His calling for us.
We know His calling for Christians to take care of widows, orphans and to visit the incarcerated.
We also know that he expects us to depend totally on Him.
God has often been seen to step in at the very last moment. The stories of Abraham and Issac, Lazarus and Jairus's daughter are proof of this.
Faith is what we must have.
Greg and I are still resolved to keep fighting for these children.
We know what the Lord has laid upon our hearts.
We also know what God has laid upon our daughter's heart.
I have lost count of the many times I have found a paper bag stashed away in a drawer or under a pillow. The paper bag is filled with individual envelopes containing little trinkets, magic markers or candy. Chloe hides presents in the house for her two friends. She does not want her friends to find the gifts.
The other day we were talking about her birthday and I asked her if she would like to have a party and invite friends. She said she would like to ask her two friends from China. Raeya said, "What about your third friend from China?" Chloe responded, "No, she has a mommy."
How can anyone turn their back on such a request?
So, we continue to pray, have faith and keep asking.
Through the love of a parent a child learns of the love of their Heavenly Father. Hopefully, although a fallen sinner, that parent is able to give the child a good picture of a Heavenly Father.
I pray God allows me to be used by Him to show many more children His love.
God spilled His Son for us, oh that we will spill ourseves for Him.
90 minutes can seem like an eternity to a child. However, I am sure Chloe would agree that the Oreo Cake she got for Gotcha Day after supper was much better than the two chocolate chip cookies she desired before supper!
Oh, for us also to wait on the timing of God.
Greg and I were once again told no in our pursuit to bring home Chloe's friends.
We know it is in God's hands.
We know His calling for us.
We know His calling for Christians to take care of widows, orphans and to visit the incarcerated.
We also know that he expects us to depend totally on Him.
God has often been seen to step in at the very last moment. The stories of Abraham and Issac, Lazarus and Jairus's daughter are proof of this.
Faith is what we must have.
Greg and I are still resolved to keep fighting for these children.
We know what the Lord has laid upon our hearts.
We also know what God has laid upon our daughter's heart.
I have lost count of the many times I have found a paper bag stashed away in a drawer or under a pillow. The paper bag is filled with individual envelopes containing little trinkets, magic markers or candy. Chloe hides presents in the house for her two friends. She does not want her friends to find the gifts.
The other day we were talking about her birthday and I asked her if she would like to have a party and invite friends. She said she would like to ask her two friends from China. Raeya said, "What about your third friend from China?" Chloe responded, "No, she has a mommy."
How can anyone turn their back on such a request?
So, we continue to pray, have faith and keep asking.
Through the love of a parent a child learns of the love of their Heavenly Father. Hopefully, although a fallen sinner, that parent is able to give the child a good picture of a Heavenly Father.
I pray God allows me to be used by Him to show many more children His love.
God spilled His Son for us, oh that we will spill ourseves for Him.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Blessings and Miracles
The past two weeks have been very busy. I lost count of all the appointments with doctors and dentists for our family of six.
Do I feel sorry for myself?
Absolutely NOT!
I look at the families I have grown to love. Families I have met through adoption forums. Some of these families who have grown to magnanimous proportions desiring to be courageously noble in mind and heart and willing to give of themselves and their possessions. Families that have grown from 2 to 19 and more in just a small amount of time. So, do I feel boastful of having more than the national average of 1.88 children in our family?
Again, absolutely, NOT. I feel selfish.
I have truly come to understand what the Bible verse Matthew 16:25 means:
"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
Some can not wait for retirement, when the kids leave the house, or when they have nothing on their calendar except what they want to put on it.
Yes, there is day or two when I feel that way. Sometimes there are weeks at a time when I feel that way! However, if my husband had not led us down the yellow brick road of adoption this second time, I would not be saying, "There is no place like home" to our little Chloe right now.
I thank God for all the hospital stays, infections, tubes, and operations we have weathered with this little girl. We faithfully walked through and were carried through by the strength of God and your prayers to celebrate this day.
Our little Chloe has been granted the gift of a full life. Her nephrologist is so pleased with her healing. Based on the blood work taken two months ago and the measurements taken yesterday; Chloe has grown 2 inches, has gained back all her lost weight from being sick, blood pressure remains normal, she will not have to start taking growth hormones, and her kidneys are functioning as normal kidneys! I can not wait to get the results from the blood work taken yesterday.
She is our little princess and we have definitely won the lotto!
Do I feel sorry for myself?
Absolutely NOT!
I look at the families I have grown to love. Families I have met through adoption forums. Some of these families who have grown to magnanimous proportions desiring to be courageously noble in mind and heart and willing to give of themselves and their possessions. Families that have grown from 2 to 19 and more in just a small amount of time. So, do I feel boastful of having more than the national average of 1.88 children in our family?
Again, absolutely, NOT. I feel selfish.
I have truly come to understand what the Bible verse Matthew 16:25 means:
"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
Some can not wait for retirement, when the kids leave the house, or when they have nothing on their calendar except what they want to put on it.
Yes, there is day or two when I feel that way. Sometimes there are weeks at a time when I feel that way! However, if my husband had not led us down the yellow brick road of adoption this second time, I would not be saying, "There is no place like home" to our little Chloe right now.
I thank God for all the hospital stays, infections, tubes, and operations we have weathered with this little girl. We faithfully walked through and were carried through by the strength of God and your prayers to celebrate this day.
Our little Chloe has been granted the gift of a full life. Her nephrologist is so pleased with her healing. Based on the blood work taken two months ago and the measurements taken yesterday; Chloe has grown 2 inches, has gained back all her lost weight from being sick, blood pressure remains normal, she will not have to start taking growth hormones, and her kidneys are functioning as normal kidneys! I can not wait to get the results from the blood work taken yesterday.
She is our little princess and we have definitely won the lotto!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Relinquish all to God
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Phil. 4:6)
It is so hard to RELINQUISH anything; money, schedules, dreams, plans, loved ones, the list goes on and on. However, relinquishing the difficult circumstances of life is probably the biggest challenge. I can not count the times I have given something up to God only to find myself worrying over it even minutes later.
A picture was recently shared with me on what it means to let go of something completely. If you were to pour a glass of water into the sand, it would be impossible to take back the water. And the great thing is that you could even pour a bucket of water into the sand and the sand, God, can absorb that as well. All those things that worry, trouble, confuse, confound, hurt me,.....He can absorb.
I need to pour those things out completely before the One Who loves me most and best; Who ALONE can resolve any concern; Who ALONE already has a perfect plan for me AND my troubles; Who ALONE has promised He will never leave me or forsake me.
God is telling us, in Philippians 4:6, to RELINQUISH our concerns to Him: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
I hope to walk the rest of this journey to our sons in China with thanksgiving.
We had some good news on Friday. I awoke in the wee hours of Friday morning. I had had a weird dream and lay in bed to anxious to return to sleep but too fearful of what I might find in my message box if I got out of bed and warmed the computer up. It had only been a day since I had sent my letter to China asking for help to get our boys home. However, there was this aching feeling telling me there was a response waiting for me in my inbox. I lay in bed praying until the alarm went off, quickly kissed my husband on the cheek and slipped through the bedroom door as quietly as possible. I savor my alone time in the morning, however, that morning there was not going to be any alone time. As I closed the door behind me, I looked into the open door of my daughters' room in front of me. My day would begin with the image of my little Chloe sitting on the floor with her legs crossed "reading" her Precious Moments Bible.
How is that for a humbling moment?
Chloe and I scurried downstairs to check my email and NOT to my surprise I had an email from China. Chloe and I ran back upstairs to let BaBa know we had an answer but we neglected to read what it was!!!!
Back downstairs to open and read the email.
We had a positive response. We would receive help from Chloe's native country to bring our boys home. One person in her country would see if he could take it one more step. How wonderful to share that moment with Chloe. The one who made it a possibility for these boys to have a home. Only through her did we know of these boys. Only for her love of them did we seek them out.
So, what does this help mean exactly? It means we still have a long way to go but that the door has not shut for us. We have faced many shut doors up until this point. If we had stopped knocking after the first couple of doors we would not be where we are today. Today the hope is still alive for these boys. It is a glimmer of hope, but isn't that the most beautiful part? I love to see the glimmer of sun around the clouds here in the big skies of Colorado. It makes for the most beautiful picture.
I have been told that God's name would be glorified through these two boys. Greg and I have already seen that. We have had people email us and tell us that through the story of these boys they have renewed their faith and others telling us they have started reading the Bible. God uses the simple and the weak to do His work. It is through those people that His power shines through, often times beginning with only a glimmer.
We are holding onto the glimmer and continue to pray that one day those beautiful shinning faces will not be just a glimmer on the refrigerator door but the full shinning faces of two rough and tumble boys.
We thank you all who take the time to read and pray for our boys. It means so much to hear from you and know that they are being lifted up by people who care. People like my daughter, Chloe, who I found sitting up against the refrigerator with Noah's picture above her head. She had my cell phone out and was typing a letter to Jesus asking Him to please bring Noah and Rhys home. People like a new friend who shared she was fasting for the boys. Can you imagine having a friend like that? Up until this point, I could only imagine. I pray I can be that kind of friend to all I know.
We love our Lord and we trust Him and I thankfully and joyfully walk this path with Him. I relinquish all to Him and can not wait to share how the weaknesses and simplicity of all our "orphans" will magnify His Glory.
It is so hard to RELINQUISH anything; money, schedules, dreams, plans, loved ones, the list goes on and on. However, relinquishing the difficult circumstances of life is probably the biggest challenge. I can not count the times I have given something up to God only to find myself worrying over it even minutes later.
A picture was recently shared with me on what it means to let go of something completely. If you were to pour a glass of water into the sand, it would be impossible to take back the water. And the great thing is that you could even pour a bucket of water into the sand and the sand, God, can absorb that as well. All those things that worry, trouble, confuse, confound, hurt me,.....He can absorb.
I need to pour those things out completely before the One Who loves me most and best; Who ALONE can resolve any concern; Who ALONE already has a perfect plan for me AND my troubles; Who ALONE has promised He will never leave me or forsake me.
God is telling us, in Philippians 4:6, to RELINQUISH our concerns to Him: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
I hope to walk the rest of this journey to our sons in China with thanksgiving.
We had some good news on Friday. I awoke in the wee hours of Friday morning. I had had a weird dream and lay in bed to anxious to return to sleep but too fearful of what I might find in my message box if I got out of bed and warmed the computer up. It had only been a day since I had sent my letter to China asking for help to get our boys home. However, there was this aching feeling telling me there was a response waiting for me in my inbox. I lay in bed praying until the alarm went off, quickly kissed my husband on the cheek and slipped through the bedroom door as quietly as possible. I savor my alone time in the morning, however, that morning there was not going to be any alone time. As I closed the door behind me, I looked into the open door of my daughters' room in front of me. My day would begin with the image of my little Chloe sitting on the floor with her legs crossed "reading" her Precious Moments Bible.
How is that for a humbling moment?
Chloe and I scurried downstairs to check my email and NOT to my surprise I had an email from China. Chloe and I ran back upstairs to let BaBa know we had an answer but we neglected to read what it was!!!!
Back downstairs to open and read the email.
We had a positive response. We would receive help from Chloe's native country to bring our boys home. One person in her country would see if he could take it one more step. How wonderful to share that moment with Chloe. The one who made it a possibility for these boys to have a home. Only through her did we know of these boys. Only for her love of them did we seek them out.
So, what does this help mean exactly? It means we still have a long way to go but that the door has not shut for us. We have faced many shut doors up until this point. If we had stopped knocking after the first couple of doors we would not be where we are today. Today the hope is still alive for these boys. It is a glimmer of hope, but isn't that the most beautiful part? I love to see the glimmer of sun around the clouds here in the big skies of Colorado. It makes for the most beautiful picture.
I have been told that God's name would be glorified through these two boys. Greg and I have already seen that. We have had people email us and tell us that through the story of these boys they have renewed their faith and others telling us they have started reading the Bible. God uses the simple and the weak to do His work. It is through those people that His power shines through, often times beginning with only a glimmer.
We are holding onto the glimmer and continue to pray that one day those beautiful shinning faces will not be just a glimmer on the refrigerator door but the full shinning faces of two rough and tumble boys.
We thank you all who take the time to read and pray for our boys. It means so much to hear from you and know that they are being lifted up by people who care. People like my daughter, Chloe, who I found sitting up against the refrigerator with Noah's picture above her head. She had my cell phone out and was typing a letter to Jesus asking Him to please bring Noah and Rhys home. People like a new friend who shared she was fasting for the boys. Can you imagine having a friend like that? Up until this point, I could only imagine. I pray I can be that kind of friend to all I know.
We love our Lord and we trust Him and I thankfully and joyfully walk this path with Him. I relinquish all to Him and can not wait to share how the weaknesses and simplicity of all our "orphans" will magnify His Glory.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
The earthly leader of my home humbly requests....
I believe in prayer. I’ve seen it work in others’ lives as well as my own. If you’ve followed Amy’s blog, or if you've heard our recent adoption developments from me, then you know we are the midst of stepping out on faith again and could certainly use your prayers if you are so inclined. But first, a little background information (actually a lot) on our story and why I believe only prayer can be the answer.
In 2003, I had just returned from Iraq and relinquished command. I turned away from a potential assignment in Italy and requested to come back to Fort Bragg instead because mom had just been diagnosed with Alzheimers. We thought it best to get as close as possible to family so she would get plenty of exposure to her grandsons in her remaining good years. As fate would have it though, mom had a series of multiple strokes right after we moved back to Fayetteville. She was never really fully lucid again for her last 7 years. This had a profound effect on me and though family had always been important to me, I began to see it in a different light than I previously had the decade before while bouncing around the country from assignment to assignment . I read a few things about adoption and intrigued by it, discussed it with Amy. We both thought we had been very fortunate in our lives and felt some additional responsibility to share that in some tangible, unique way. We agreed to keep an open mind on the subject and to explore the idea more in the future. As often happens in the Army though, no good deed goes unpunished. I was moved into a key position within a soon to be deploying brigade that consumed more of my time and effort than I certainly had been planning on. The adoption idea was shelved out of necessity for the next few bumpy, yet rewarding years.
Fast forward to 2006. Now stationed at Fort McPherson in Atlanta, my job there, though requiring a lot of in-country travel, was not nearly as demanding, and the chances of redeploying again soon were slim. I looked forward to a relaxing, enjoyable tour for a few years. Almost immediately though, Amy brought up the adoption subject again. I was surprised, having nearly pushed it out of mind, thinking we had missed our window of opportunity. She wanted to explore it again though. I acquiesced, since this was really the first time we really had the opportunity, and agreed to start the process with the caveat that we could back out at any point if either of us got cold feet. Were we too old for this? Could we afford it? How would this affect the relationship we have with our boys? How would we adapt to this major lifestyle change? All very valid questions with no way to know the answers until we’d committed. So we elected to just step out on faith.
Nearly a year later, when working on my laptop in a remote spot in Montana, I opened an email forwarded from Amy by our adoption agency telling us we had been matched with a child and they wanted to know if we accepted her. When I opened the small picture of Xing Fu Wa, I knew she was our child. The rest of the process did not unfold nearly as soon as we wanted, but before we knew it, the whole family was flying into Nanchang to meet Raeya. In a meeting room with an agency official in Beijing, I remember him telling me “We’ll see you back here in a few years, when you’re here to pick up your next one” and me nervously laughing and saying “I don’t think so; this is it!” In hind sight, I suppose the seed had already been planted.
After a few months back with Raeya, we found ourselves on our way to Colorado Springs for what I thought would be a quick payback tour of a year to the Army for moving us and then retirement. We were enjoying the beautiful new location, working on our fixer-upper retirement home, and getting to know and love our new daughter. Everything seemed in order and then, I’m not sure who brought it up, but adoption became a topic often discussed again. We agreed to look into it again and though the same old questions still applied, this time we came to a decision very rapidly. I decided I would put off retirement until we could complete the process. There are always obstacles and distracters to pull you away from your path however. I was soon offered another command but declined as that would have required yet another move and would have negated our long term plans. As a kind of peace offering to the Army for turning them down, I volunteered for a tour to Afghanistan. Amy agreed to work the adoption paperwork while I was deployed. Because we had trusted in faith before and our experience with Raeya had been so overwhelmingly positive, this time we decided to step out a little farther on faith and adopt a child who had a medical special need that gave her very little chance. We knew that my military benefits allowed us to take on a much more serious special need than most folks could, so we put in our request and waited to see what our agency came back with. We were matched with Jiang Yujun on the day I deployed. Again, we knew this was our child. Thankfully, the process was expedited, we think because they were anxious to turn Chloe over to us because they knew she had limited time. By the time I redeployed, we were making travel arrangements to go get her. The trip was wonderful, just like Raeya’s and we brought Chloe home and began our adjustments as a new family. There have been trials for sure; several weeks in the hospital over Christmas and we nearly lost her during her recent corrective surgery, but we could not be more blessed. She has had a miraculous recovery that has astounded her doctors and has blossomed into so much more than we ever expected. So again, I know prayer works.
Chloe, because we got her at nearly 5 years old, unlike Raeya, has vivid memories before joining us. She remembers her caretakers, her stints in Chinese hospitals, and most of all, her friends from the orphanage. She speaks of them often and asks if she can have them come visit. When I was in Afghanistan, Amy would forward me pictures that Chloe's orphanage would send periodically, and almost always pictured with her were one or two of her friends, nicknamed Noah and Rhys by the orphanage. Every time the pictures would arrive, I enjoyed seeing these two boys nearly as much as Chloe. Half way around the world, Amy was developing the same affection for these boys that I was, but left it unsaid, just as I did. When I redeployed, as we prepared to travel to pick up Chloe we discussed these two boys and how difficult it must be for the children left behind in the orphanages as time and time again they see their friends leave with their new families. Again we decided to step out on faith and see what we could do for them and if there was a possibility of bringing them home as well.
When we inquired with the orphanage director about this possibility, we found out that these boys are actually trafficked children. They were kidnapped as toddlers and were to be sold, but the Chinese police broke up the trafficking ring, and when the parents could not be found, they were turned over to an orphanage to be cared for. The Chinese government has deemed them un-adoptable (both locally and internationally) in hopes that they can eventually be returned to their parents. While this is certainly a good intention, it is almost an impossibility. The remoteness of the province the boys are from, poor communications, and inability of the parents to find them, likely sentences them to remaining in the orphanage's care. The harsh reality: at the age of 13, many Chinese children age out of the orphanage system and are farmed out to various work programs or elsewhere to fend for themselves. This is a travesty we can hardly bare to imagine.
This is where we ask for your prayers. Our ultimate goal is to bring these boys home as a part our family. We have exhausted a number of avenues to help Noah and Rhys and have been unsuccessful thus far. We know that we are up against seemingly insurmountable odds. But Amy and I are not ones to take "No" for an answer and know that if this is to be, it will be. We've drafted a letter to the province adoption director, who we know from our last trip, pleading our case and requesting special consideration in this matter. We pray, as we hope others do, that it turns the heart and allows for an exception to policy or opens another door. If adoption is not possible, we've agreed to foster these children at no expense to the Chinese government. An adoption certificate is not necessary; we'd just like the chance to offer them a better life. The world is not fair and we know there are no promises. We also know that this prayer will be answered; maybe not how we want it to be, but hopefully in these boy's best interest. God's Will will be done, whether we understand it or not.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and hopefully I've feebly inspired you to join with us in prayer in this worthy quest.
.
In 2003, I had just returned from Iraq and relinquished command. I turned away from a potential assignment in Italy and requested to come back to Fort Bragg instead because mom had just been diagnosed with Alzheimers. We thought it best to get as close as possible to family so she would get plenty of exposure to her grandsons in her remaining good years. As fate would have it though, mom had a series of multiple strokes right after we moved back to Fayetteville. She was never really fully lucid again for her last 7 years. This had a profound effect on me and though family had always been important to me, I began to see it in a different light than I previously had the decade before while bouncing around the country from assignment to assignment . I read a few things about adoption and intrigued by it, discussed it with Amy. We both thought we had been very fortunate in our lives and felt some additional responsibility to share that in some tangible, unique way. We agreed to keep an open mind on the subject and to explore the idea more in the future. As often happens in the Army though, no good deed goes unpunished. I was moved into a key position within a soon to be deploying brigade that consumed more of my time and effort than I certainly had been planning on. The adoption idea was shelved out of necessity for the next few bumpy, yet rewarding years.
Fast forward to 2006. Now stationed at Fort McPherson in Atlanta, my job there, though requiring a lot of in-country travel, was not nearly as demanding, and the chances of redeploying again soon were slim. I looked forward to a relaxing, enjoyable tour for a few years. Almost immediately though, Amy brought up the adoption subject again. I was surprised, having nearly pushed it out of mind, thinking we had missed our window of opportunity. She wanted to explore it again though. I acquiesced, since this was really the first time we really had the opportunity, and agreed to start the process with the caveat that we could back out at any point if either of us got cold feet. Were we too old for this? Could we afford it? How would this affect the relationship we have with our boys? How would we adapt to this major lifestyle change? All very valid questions with no way to know the answers until we’d committed. So we elected to just step out on faith.
Nearly a year later, when working on my laptop in a remote spot in Montana, I opened an email forwarded from Amy by our adoption agency telling us we had been matched with a child and they wanted to know if we accepted her. When I opened the small picture of Xing Fu Wa, I knew she was our child. The rest of the process did not unfold nearly as soon as we wanted, but before we knew it, the whole family was flying into Nanchang to meet Raeya. In a meeting room with an agency official in Beijing, I remember him telling me “We’ll see you back here in a few years, when you’re here to pick up your next one” and me nervously laughing and saying “I don’t think so; this is it!” In hind sight, I suppose the seed had already been planted.
After a few months back with Raeya, we found ourselves on our way to Colorado Springs for what I thought would be a quick payback tour of a year to the Army for moving us and then retirement. We were enjoying the beautiful new location, working on our fixer-upper retirement home, and getting to know and love our new daughter. Everything seemed in order and then, I’m not sure who brought it up, but adoption became a topic often discussed again. We agreed to look into it again and though the same old questions still applied, this time we came to a decision very rapidly. I decided I would put off retirement until we could complete the process. There are always obstacles and distracters to pull you away from your path however. I was soon offered another command but declined as that would have required yet another move and would have negated our long term plans. As a kind of peace offering to the Army for turning them down, I volunteered for a tour to Afghanistan. Amy agreed to work the adoption paperwork while I was deployed. Because we had trusted in faith before and our experience with Raeya had been so overwhelmingly positive, this time we decided to step out a little farther on faith and adopt a child who had a medical special need that gave her very little chance. We knew that my military benefits allowed us to take on a much more serious special need than most folks could, so we put in our request and waited to see what our agency came back with. We were matched with Jiang Yujun on the day I deployed. Again, we knew this was our child. Thankfully, the process was expedited, we think because they were anxious to turn Chloe over to us because they knew she had limited time. By the time I redeployed, we were making travel arrangements to go get her. The trip was wonderful, just like Raeya’s and we brought Chloe home and began our adjustments as a new family. There have been trials for sure; several weeks in the hospital over Christmas and we nearly lost her during her recent corrective surgery, but we could not be more blessed. She has had a miraculous recovery that has astounded her doctors and has blossomed into so much more than we ever expected. So again, I know prayer works.
Chloe, because we got her at nearly 5 years old, unlike Raeya, has vivid memories before joining us. She remembers her caretakers, her stints in Chinese hospitals, and most of all, her friends from the orphanage. She speaks of them often and asks if she can have them come visit. When I was in Afghanistan, Amy would forward me pictures that Chloe's orphanage would send periodically, and almost always pictured with her were one or two of her friends, nicknamed Noah and Rhys by the orphanage. Every time the pictures would arrive, I enjoyed seeing these two boys nearly as much as Chloe. Half way around the world, Amy was developing the same affection for these boys that I was, but left it unsaid, just as I did. When I redeployed, as we prepared to travel to pick up Chloe we discussed these two boys and how difficult it must be for the children left behind in the orphanages as time and time again they see their friends leave with their new families. Again we decided to step out on faith and see what we could do for them and if there was a possibility of bringing them home as well.
When we inquired with the orphanage director about this possibility, we found out that these boys are actually trafficked children. They were kidnapped as toddlers and were to be sold, but the Chinese police broke up the trafficking ring, and when the parents could not be found, they were turned over to an orphanage to be cared for. The Chinese government has deemed them un-adoptable (both locally and internationally) in hopes that they can eventually be returned to their parents. While this is certainly a good intention, it is almost an impossibility. The remoteness of the province the boys are from, poor communications, and inability of the parents to find them, likely sentences them to remaining in the orphanage's care. The harsh reality: at the age of 13, many Chinese children age out of the orphanage system and are farmed out to various work programs or elsewhere to fend for themselves. This is a travesty we can hardly bare to imagine.
This is where we ask for your prayers. Our ultimate goal is to bring these boys home as a part our family. We have exhausted a number of avenues to help Noah and Rhys and have been unsuccessful thus far. We know that we are up against seemingly insurmountable odds. But Amy and I are not ones to take "No" for an answer and know that if this is to be, it will be. We've drafted a letter to the province adoption director, who we know from our last trip, pleading our case and requesting special consideration in this matter. We pray, as we hope others do, that it turns the heart and allows for an exception to policy or opens another door. If adoption is not possible, we've agreed to foster these children at no expense to the Chinese government. An adoption certificate is not necessary; we'd just like the chance to offer them a better life. The world is not fair and we know there are no promises. We also know that this prayer will be answered; maybe not how we want it to be, but hopefully in these boy's best interest. God's Will will be done, whether we understand it or not.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and hopefully I've feebly inspired you to join with us in prayer in this worthy quest.
.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Husband, four kids, dog and God in my Trailblazer
We recently took a trip with my husband to Salt Lake City, Utah. It was to be business and pleasure. A chance to get out of our surroundings, forget about everything, focus on ourselves and forget about responsibilities, for a while.
Bah, ha, ha, ha, ha!
I am glad God came along and did not require much space in my Trailblazer.
With two adults, two kids in car seats, two teenagers with legs longer than my body and a bulldog, a bulldog that weighs 45 pounds in muscle and stubbornness, we head off to Utah. Not exactly the crew we had intended to take, but when life throws you a complication you adjust and keep going.
So Hurley, the bulldog, after having a heat stroke due to neglect at the kennel is saved, he gets to go on vacation with us. He was such a treat and all the kids have voted to take him on the next vacation!
After nine hours of travel, we roll into one of our favorite Chinese restaurant franchises to get supper. Our orders are taken by the sweetest young lady just out of high school. She is Asian as our girls are, which is always an opening for conversation. This young girl, S, immediately asked about the adoption of the girls. S was adopted as well. Before her adoption, she lived in the Philippines with her dad and two siblings. She told us her heart breaking story.
Her mother left the family leaving her dad to support and take care of the children. Unfortunately, her father got tuberculosis and due to the high transmission rate and the conditions they lived under, the children not too long after were infected with tuberculosis as well. S's father died leaving her, a child not yet in her teens, to take care of her younger brother and sister. She had no one to step in and fill the gap. She did her best. She did what she had to do to be the sole provider, mother and father to her siblings. S, whose sister was still in diapers, learned many things at an early age.
Most of us out live our parents and know the pain of their deaths. Our parent's deaths are expected but not as such a young age.
However, not many of us experience the death of a younger sibling when we are still children ourselves.
She soon found herself dealing with the death of her sister due to tuberculosis. S and her brother then came to the attention of the government and they were placed in an orphanage. She and her brother were adopted by different families in the United States. Years later, she was able to find her brother and has been able to visit with him. She has now graduated from high school, and is saving money to return to her home country of the Philippines. She dreams of working with children and one day opening an orphanage of her own.
As Greg and I adjusted to the small things; death of a puppy, near death of another dog, Com cast leaving our gate open while we were away and our dogs escaping. All things that happened leading up to and during our "escape".
We were reminded that there are much greater adjustments innocent children of this world experience. Miraculously, S and her brother were given a home with the love of parents who helped heal the wounds. However the scars still remain. They remain as a reminder.
There are thousands of children still waiting to know the love of a family. Children who long for a family. Chloe has told us that she wanted a family while she was living in China. She tells us that she and her friends talked about having a family. She asks every day if she can go and get her friends and have them spend the night with us.
These "lucky" children, children who have been given a home or sponsored by a family, have been given much and they are giving much more back. Oh, for those of us who have been blessed with the love of a family from the very beginning, what are we giving back?
"For everyone to whom much is given, of him shall much be required." -- Luke 12:48
I am no Biblical scholar, but as I have grown and examined my life, I can not help but wonder if "those who much has been given to" are the ones who have experienced more pain in life.
Is it not those who have the most to share with us?
Is it not those who are the strongest?
Is it not those who are the most humble?
I wonder.
We did not escape the trials of life on our vacation. Instead, we were reminded of God's call on our life to help the orphan and the saving Grace of God and His tender Mercies.
I left my email address with this young lady hoping I can help her dream come true.
I know through our prayers for her, we can be a part of the unfolding miracle of her life spiritually if not physically.
I am glad we did not leave God at home when we went on our vacation. To think of all I would have missed out on. There will always be enough room in my Trailblazer!
In His Name,
Amy
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
What a week, feeling weak, but trusting in His strength
God is teaching us more and more to depend only on Him.
This past week has been fraught with trials.
The threat of death, the loss of another pet, a complication with Chloe's operation, an emotional set back in our quest for adoption of two boys, and four kids and a 45 pound dog in a confined space for 9 hours.
Only by the grace of God did we all come through for the better but still with so much more to learn and to trust God with.
When does it end? Only with His coming to take us home. Until then, we will continue to learn from our trials and put our trust in Him. It is only through the hardship and often pain that I learn.
And, I am learning.
Recently, I have had a misunderstanding clarified. In our quest for the boys born of our heart, I thought the children were available for domestic adoption in their country but not international adoption. It seemed reasonable to me that since they were about to enter school and were not yet chosen by a domestic family that it would make sense to allow them to be adopted internationally. However, I was wrong. These children are not available for adoption domestically or internationally. With this clarification, my heart suffered a temporary set back. I felt hopeless, I doubted myself and wondered if I was setting myself up for heartache.
It just so happens that I had been studying the life of Moses for the past month. The Moses of the Bible and not the Charleton Heston Moses. By no means do I equate myself with even the weakest part of Moses' character, but I do know that the life of Moses was given to us in written word so that we could learn from him. Learn from him, I did, as ET would say.
I know that God works best in the "impossible" situations. I know that God can do whatever He wants regardless of the rules. I know that I have told God I will follow Him regardless of what the outcome is, especially if the outcome is not first of all the one I seek for myself. I am here to serve Him and not my own desires.
As I have stated before, there is no way I can explain why these two boys. I know that when I found out initially that it would be a challenge, I started setting my sights on finding two other children. My husband, who has always been the leader in our adoption endeavors, is the one who said we would not give up on these boys. As I cried over the news that are odds at making a difference in their lives was slim to none, my husband once again reminded me we would not give up on these two boys. It was not my heart that wanted to stop fighting for them. It was the fear that my life was not worthy enough to make a difference. A lie that Satan frequently tells me.
Just yesterday Chloe's nurse told me, "We all need to learn from Chloe and to never be satisfied to color within the lines." In honor of my daughter, who asks to send bottles of snow to her best friends in China, and in submission to my Lord who has laid these two boys on my heart, I will stand strong in the face of impossibilities and trust Him to make my life worthy in this pursuit for the two boys born of our heart.
Friday, July 15, 2011
A sad day but a life that served its purpose
I have written about our little puppy Duncan who was born while Chloe was in the hospital being treated for some of her spina bifida issues. Duncan was also born with spina bifida. He was named after the doctor who was treating Chloe.
Chloe was in so much pain in the hospital. Her little body was not cooperating and the doctors were trying so hard to put the pieces of the puzzle together that she was presenting. As a most loved nurse said, "Chloe does not color in between the lines." How appropriate! We are a family that scoffs at the lines.
To be emotionally there for Chloe, I had to lean on the Lord completely. I prayed and read my Bible while Chloe was sleeping. I also compartmentalized a lot of the emotion. At the time, I did not realize I was doing this but now with the death of little Duncan, I know where all those emotions went.
The Lord does work in mysterious ways and He is there for us all the time whether we realize it or not. The little dog who "happened" to have a diagnosis the same as my daughter and who "happened" to get the name of Duncan outof a litter of four was where all my emotions went. This was God carrying me through for the sake of my daughter.
We, as Christians, believe that our up most calling is to be a servant, slave, for His will. I am here to fulfill his mission in my life. The mission, most often, is not a glorious, easy, famous, luxurious stroll through the park. We know that by looking at the lives of his disciples.
I have rocked, kissed on, hand fed, and researched doctors to treat Duncan. I thought he would be a candidate for the Wounded Warrior Program where he and a soldier could work through the emotions of an altered life but a life with much purpose and promise.
Instead, I have found that he helped me work through the emotions of a near loss of our daughter.
I was told in the hospital by one of the nurses that I was the strongest woman she had ever met. That is not true, I am a simple woman carried by the love of her Savior and a sweet little puppy that will always hold a special place in my heart.
We will miss you Duncan.
Chloe was in so much pain in the hospital. Her little body was not cooperating and the doctors were trying so hard to put the pieces of the puzzle together that she was presenting. As a most loved nurse said, "Chloe does not color in between the lines." How appropriate! We are a family that scoffs at the lines.
To be emotionally there for Chloe, I had to lean on the Lord completely. I prayed and read my Bible while Chloe was sleeping. I also compartmentalized a lot of the emotion. At the time, I did not realize I was doing this but now with the death of little Duncan, I know where all those emotions went.
The Lord does work in mysterious ways and He is there for us all the time whether we realize it or not. The little dog who "happened" to have a diagnosis the same as my daughter and who "happened" to get the name of Duncan outof a litter of four was where all my emotions went. This was God carrying me through for the sake of my daughter.
We, as Christians, believe that our up most calling is to be a servant, slave, for His will. I am here to fulfill his mission in my life. The mission, most often, is not a glorious, easy, famous, luxurious stroll through the park. We know that by looking at the lives of his disciples.
I have rocked, kissed on, hand fed, and researched doctors to treat Duncan. I thought he would be a candidate for the Wounded Warrior Program where he and a soldier could work through the emotions of an altered life but a life with much purpose and promise.
Instead, I have found that he helped me work through the emotions of a near loss of our daughter.
I was told in the hospital by one of the nurses that I was the strongest woman she had ever met. That is not true, I am a simple woman carried by the love of her Savior and a sweet little puppy that will always hold a special place in my heart.
We will miss you Duncan.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
There are humans and there are dogs but somewhere inbetween are English Bulldogs: Wounded Warriors
We are all wounded warriors in some way or another.
To love means to put a person or an object above yourself, to sacrifice and to fight for that person or thing deemed worthy of your up most attention.
If you have ever loved, you have felt the joy and also the pain surrendering yourself; your wants, needs and desires to another. We are all wounded warriors.
However, the wounded warriors I refer to today are our men and women who serve our country and have come home with serious injuries; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. For the love of their country and the love of their fellow man, they knowingly accepted the risk of death and destruction to ensure we had the opportunity to make the most of our lives.
My husband has served in the military for 23 years and has put his life on the line more than a few times. He has always returned home and although he has suffered no physical harm, each deployment has changed him as a person. We are very fortunate.
As we draw a close to our years of service, we look back upon all the trial and triumphs of the years. We have grown and learned so much and are thankful for all the opportunities the Army has provided for us to push ourselves and become better people. It is a part of us and we want to remain a part of it.
As I type this I have a little English Bulldog in my lap that is barking. Our little Dunc. Dunc entered the world much like our recently adopted daughter, Chloe. Dunc has spina bifida. He was born while Chloe was in the hospital undergoing surgery for some complications due to her spina bifida. Dunc was also named after a beloved surgeon who was treating Chloe. We did not now of Dunc's spina bifida when we named him. He was a little smaller than the other puppies but we thought we was just going to be the "runt".
We watched over Dunc, hand fed him, and gave him more one on one time with his mom that the other puppies. Much the same as Chloe received from three special ladies, her Missouri Aunties, in the United States and from the wonderful directors and women at her orphanage in south east China. I know that Chloe would not have survived if it were not for this extra loving attention and prayers she received from those who cared for her.
Just like Chloe, as Dunc passed through the next few days we could see that he was different. He was special! Dunc and Chloe have a common thread. We are not turning our backs on Dunc. He has pulled through two times when an ordinary dog would not have made it. He is a fighter just like our little Chloe.
As I researched Chloe's special needs before we brought her home I was also preparing myself for the special needs her favorite dog would have. In order to honor her and her dog Dunc, we are going to do a fundraiser for the Wounded Warrior Program serving our injured service men and women. We are getting together a group of veterinarians who will be able to provide Dunc with the surgeries he needs to be a happy and healthy dog. We will be raising money to pay for his surgery and will give him to a service member in the Wounded Warrior Program.
Black Forest Bullies has worked with the Wounded Warrior Program before in welcoming service members at the Colorado Springs Airport to our lovely city where they received rehabilitative care at our Olympic Training Center. The smiles and tears of these men and women left an impression on us that we will never forget. An impression we don't want to ever forget either.
Please pray with us that we will be able to put the correct team together and will receive the funding we need to warm the heart and home of Dunc and a special service member.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Yes, miracles still happen
Yesterday, I loaded the girls up for a trip to Denver.
"We are going to get your tubes out today!", I told Chloe as we piled into the car.
Chloe left the hospital with two drainage tubes. No, big deal really. I think the most perplexing thing was the awkwardness. She did not want them strapped or taped to her leg but she also did not like to step on them or have someone else accidentally pull on them. We managed and they are still intact after being home for three weeks.
She was a bit scared as we drove to Denver. She was sure it was going to hurt when the nurse had to remove them. I assured her that mom would be there and it would be much better when they were gone.
The girls played in the waiting room with all the magnetics, cars and books while we awaited out turn. Chloe diligently hopped up and went to the screening room when her name was called. She has gained two pounds since coming home, has grown an inch so she gets to wear a yellow necklace at the YMCA pool now instead of red, and she offered up her right arm for a blood pressure check with no delay. This is a brave girl after all the pokes and prodes at the hospital!
We were promptly taken to the examining room to await the doctor. The girls climbed on top of the examining table and were looking out the window at all the "Big Cowboy Trucks" when our doctor came into the room. He asked a few questions, pondered my answers, asked a few more questions and then told me Chloe was doing absolutely AMAZING!
Before the operation we were given the general typical recovery times based on "normal" times from other patients recoveries. Chloe would be in the hospital for a week following the operation and it would be a long summer with a three to four month recovery at home.
Chloe's God is not "normal". As I said before, I prayed that we could somehow be used by God in this process to point others toward our Saviour.
We stayed in the hospital for three weeks. After all, how can you really get to know someone and impact them in only a week! We came home with some powerful pain medicine and the determination to make the 3-4 months go as smoothly as possible.
Chloe was off the pain medicine in less than a week. She was climbing ladders and jumping on the trampoline 10 days after coming home. Over the 4th of July she went on a hike to the waterfalls before watching the fireworks.
Our God is good all the time. All the time! Not only in the mountain top highs but in the hospital when you are undergoing your third operation to try and save a life.
Chloe is not the only "miracle" child from her orphanage. I could share more stories of these children from her orphanage.
I truly believe God has his hand on this orphanage and is working there and using these children and their stories to bring His love to this wonderful CWI in China.
Please continue to pray with my that His Name will be known there. Believe He will move mountains.
"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break." - Ancient Chinese Proverb
BAI JIA BEI
Is a tradition in Northern China to welcome and celebrate life. It is a quilt made of fabric from family and friends who donated the fabric along with wishes for the child. It is said that the luck, energy and good wishes from all of the families and friends who contributed the fabric surrounds the child when she is wrapped in the quilt. The quilt is then passed down from generation to generation.
Instead of cloth I am asking for your church prayers. I would like to gather at least a hundred churches who will pray along side Greg and I as we seek to open a door for a specific group of children in China whose options to be adopted are very minimal. If you would ask your church to pray for Chloe's friends, please send me your churches name and a Bible verse and I will make a quilt to represent our quest. The quilt will be used as a fundraiser to help bring these children home.
Friday, July 1, 2011
The last of the "Faith of Noah"
Greg and I were touched by the pictures we received of Chloe. However, it was the pictures taken of her that included her best friend that tore at our hearts.
If it is possible to catch love in a photo, I have it stored on my computer under "photos of Yujun".
Greg and I decided we would do everything we could to keep these children together.
We inquired about adopting Noah at the same time as Chloe but China was not allowing adoption of two children unrelated at that time plus, we were told Noah was not available for adoption.
We went to China and visited the orphanage. We got to meet Noah and another of Chloe's closest friends, Rhys. Rhys walked right up to my husband and held up his arms to be picked up. With tears in his eyes, my husband looked at me and I knew the two children we would need to bring home together would not be Chloe and Noah but Noah and Rhys.
God is leading Greg and I to continue to fight for Noah and Rhys.
There is no way I can explain how I know this and if I did it would probably make no sense to anyone but me. Why these two boys, when there are so many other children readily available? Why not adopt children a little older so there will not be such a gap in age? Why have four children the same age? Why adopt when you are about to retire and do not know what the future holds? Why adopt when you have two boys about to enter college and tuition is so expensive? Why, why, why?
Blaise Pascal, says, "The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of."
The why's go on and on and stop where the "what if's" begin. What if our petitions fail after we feel so convicted.
I can not answer any of these questions. I just know that to not pursue this would be turning my back on everything I have learned through my personal story and as a Christian. We are to stand up for those who do not have a voice, we are to take care of the orphaned but most of all we are to follow our heart when we have tested our motives against the scriptures.
The Lord will prevail regardless of what I want. I want these two boys to be part of our family but God's plans are bigger than mine.
When Chloe entered the hospital, I wanted a successful surgery to help her have more independence with the issues we faced with her spina bifida. However, after 8 days in the hospital we were faced with the realization that one of the procedures in the operation had severe complications. After 20 days in the hospital we realized that somehow, unknown to all, that the operation had corrected Chloe's high blood pressure. Chloe no longer needed high blood pressure medication! However, the mitrofanoff I wanted for her so badly was sacrificed.
In humility, I sacrifice all for the greater good. Please remind me of this again in a few minutes! Yes, it is a constant battle and sometimes one I lose.
The hopes and dreams I had going into the hospital for Chloe's operation. Hopes and dreams of what I thought would be best changed drastically upon leaving the hospital. I was not in control.
I know the faith of building a family is nothing compared to the faith of building the Ark but the "coincidence" of stepping out in faith to bring home this little boy coined Noah was not lost on me. I am studying the Faith of Noah as I walk this path and I am learning, growing and trusting.
I humbly ask God to add these boys to our family, but if He does not, I know they are in His hands even if God does not use my hands to physically care for them.
In His Name and for His Glory,
Amy
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Why Noah, part 3
When we did our first home study for the adoption of Raeya, our social worker was very concerned about our ability to withstand the whispers, comments, questions and stares from strangers because we were an "international family".
Little did she know that our military life was a life of international blending. As she spoke to us about this in our government quarters in East Point, Atlanta, I served her sweet tea recently purchased from a grocery store where I was the only Caucasian in the store. Over this tea, I could tell her the story of getting lost in Korea in a town where no one spoke English and my few words of Korean would not help me find my way back to post. Talk about whispers, comments and stares.
Yes, we stand out a little. Not all that much in Colorado Springs. We have moved 10 times since being married courtesy of the US Army and I have never lived anywhere that had so many adoptive and foster families.
After 23 years, I am home!
But comments and questions from others do not offend me in the least. It gives me a chance to share our story and the love of my Saviour. In a country where you can find more that one church on some corners, I share my story of God's love but it is in China where I long to stand in the gap and show my Saviour's love.
As my heart has cried out for the two boys we long to bring home, I have found it hard to concentrate on the here and now sometimes. I found myself in this very situation the Sunday before Easter as I sat listening to our wonderful pastor. I bowed my head and said a short prayer asking God to clear my mind for the moment of these two boys so I could hear His Word. The message that came back to me as I sat there humbled and teachable was, "Amy, through these two boys, My Name will be glorified".
Are you talking to me?
I am not one to share things like this and honestly I have not been one to whole heartedly embrace comments from others when they say, "God told me this....". I quickly reasoned that this was my own inner voice telling me what I wanted to hear and thus, was able to concentrate on the sermon.
It took me a couple of weeks to even share this experience with my husband. Another three months to share it here. Was this something I willed myself to hear because I wanted to hear it so badly or was this my Lord telling me He has it under control and I need not worry about it and I can rest the situation in His hands, concentrate on Him, and share the wonders of His Love.
Stay with me and we will find our together.
I hope to finish "the Calling to Noah" with one more entry and I pray you will be moved, you will pray and you will share my story with others.
God is moving.
He is calling.
He is waiting.
Don't miss it.
What is the 10/40 Window?
Where are the Most Unreached?
Today the reality is that 97 percent of the world's unreached lives in the 10/40 Window, a rectangular shaped area on our globe extending from West Africa to East Asia, from 10 degrees north to 40 degrees north of the equator.
In this part of the world, millions live with little or no chance of ever hearing the Gospel. The Window also encompasses the majority of the world's Muslims, Hindus, and Buddhists.
The Neglected Window
Although 97 percent of the world's unreached lives in the 10/40 Window ... Less than 0.05% of our total resources as the Church in the West are being sent to help share the Good News.
Truly there is a staggering amount of work to do.
Within the 10/40 Window:
•The darkest of all areas within the 10/40 Window is Asia.
•Over 80,000 die every day in Asian countries without knowing about the love of Jesus Christ.
•500,000 villages in India alone have never heard the Gospel.
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