Greg and I were touched by the pictures we received of Chloe. However, it was the pictures taken of her that included her best friend that tore at our hearts.
If it is possible to catch love in a photo, I have it stored on my computer under "photos of Yujun".
Greg and I decided we would do everything we could to keep these children together.
We inquired about adopting Noah at the same time as Chloe but China was not allowing adoption of two children unrelated at that time plus, we were told Noah was not available for adoption.
We went to China and visited the orphanage. We got to meet Noah and another of Chloe's closest friends, Rhys. Rhys walked right up to my husband and held up his arms to be picked up. With tears in his eyes, my husband looked at me and I knew the two children we would need to bring home together would not be Chloe and Noah but Noah and Rhys.
God is leading Greg and I to continue to fight for Noah and Rhys.
There is no way I can explain how I know this and if I did it would probably make no sense to anyone but me. Why these two boys, when there are so many other children readily available? Why not adopt children a little older so there will not be such a gap in age? Why have four children the same age? Why adopt when you are about to retire and do not know what the future holds? Why adopt when you have two boys about to enter college and tuition is so expensive? Why, why, why?
Blaise Pascal, says, "The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of."
The why's go on and on and stop where the "what if's" begin. What if our petitions fail after we feel so convicted.
I can not answer any of these questions. I just know that to not pursue this would be turning my back on everything I have learned through my personal story and as a Christian. We are to stand up for those who do not have a voice, we are to take care of the orphaned but most of all we are to follow our heart when we have tested our motives against the scriptures.
The Lord will prevail regardless of what I want. I want these two boys to be part of our family but God's plans are bigger than mine.
When Chloe entered the hospital, I wanted a successful surgery to help her have more independence with the issues we faced with her spina bifida. However, after 8 days in the hospital we were faced with the realization that one of the procedures in the operation had severe complications. After 20 days in the hospital we realized that somehow, unknown to all, that the operation had corrected Chloe's high blood pressure. Chloe no longer needed high blood pressure medication! However, the mitrofanoff I wanted for her so badly was sacrificed.
In humility, I sacrifice all for the greater good. Please remind me of this again in a few minutes! Yes, it is a constant battle and sometimes one I lose.
The hopes and dreams I had going into the hospital for Chloe's operation. Hopes and dreams of what I thought would be best changed drastically upon leaving the hospital. I was not in control.
I know the faith of building a family is nothing compared to the faith of building the Ark but the "coincidence" of stepping out in faith to bring home this little boy coined Noah was not lost on me. I am studying the Faith of Noah as I walk this path and I am learning, growing and trusting.
I humbly ask God to add these boys to our family, but if He does not, I know they are in His hands even if God does not use my hands to physically care for them.
In His Name and for His Glory,
Amy
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