Tiny, timid, tough yet very tender

CHLOE

She has had a tough week. She came home on the last day of school sick. I was hoping it was the fact that she had lots of Christmas treats before eating lunch.

Unfortunately, it dragged on and on.

Last year the week before Christmas, Chloe was admitted to the hospital. We were there for a week and that is when we found out just how serious her condition was. We were all so thankful to leave the hospital on Christmas Day, eating sushi for lunch and heading to our home, not filled with decorations but with love and thankfulness to our Heavenly Father.

So, to have Chloe sick again the week before Christmas was very concerning to say the least. I know Chloe also sensed the stress. She was asked several times about her symptoms, her temperature was taken frequently, and fluids were given around the clock.

We could see and test for the physical symptoms but it was the emotional symptoms we were unable to detect until after three days of being sick. As I was administering to some of her needs, she started crying. With some coaxing, she finally told me she was afraid she was going to have to go back to China. She thought she could not be "fixed" and would therefore have to return.

She had several breakdowns like this during the week even with Greg and I reassuring her that she was here to stay with us not matter what. We loved her fixed or not fixed.

Oh, the rationalizations these children come up with to make sense of the "orphaned world" they live in or have lived in. Rationalizations that take lots of time to work through. It saddens me to think of all the orphans out there that not only go without their physical needs being met but their emotional needs as well.

Physical needs can be met quite easily with donations of money. It is the emotional needs that are harder to administer to. The longer the emotional needs go unmet, the harder it is for these kids to work through the past and to heal the hurts.

Chloe shared that she was not only heartbroken because she thought she was not fixable and would have to return to China.

This Christmas week she also shared that she missed her friends from China. As I hugged her and told her, I missed them also it made me that more determined to fight for these kids. I want to give my daughter the desire of her heart. Her tears are my fuel to keep trying to make a difference for her friends and ones like them. As I thought about this, I realized my Heavenly Father feels the same for me when I tell Him the desires of my heart.

My New Years Resolution is to cry out to my Father without ceasing for the sake of the orphan.

James 1:27
New International Version (NIV)

27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.