You just can't love enough

Chloe surprised us at how well she did the first day after her first operation. I was told the second day is always worst but I clung to faith that as tough as this little girl was that we were going to show them all a miracle!

For 8 days, Chloe got gradually worse. Remember, we were only suppose to recuperate at the hospital for 7 days max.

I had been by her side all but one day. Greg stayed at the hospital on a Saturday night that first week to give me a break. He was unable to get off work during the week so he kept the household running and the income coming while I kept watch of Chloe.

Greg and I both learned a lot with this "deployment" for me. I have weathered many deployments of Greg's. Some during war time abroad and some state side assisting during times of nature's ravage on earth. Even though I knew being with Chloe was the right thing and I had been equipped to meet her needs like no one else, I felt so helpless to my family back at home. I wanted to be able to be there and do for them. Greg being so far from us at many times during his life, I am sure felt this way so much more than I. Greg also learned what it felt like to be the "dependent" back at home trying to play the role of mom and dad. I think we both have a new found respect for each other's callings in life.



The realization came that Chloe was not going to pull out of this without intervention from the surgical team. I called Greg at work and he got to Denver in record time. We went with our daughter as far as they would let us go, kissed her, told her how much we loved her and that we would be there when she woke up. We walked to the waiting room prepared for the hours it would take to correct the problem in her tiny little body. As we sat there, we discussed the miraculous love we had for her.

A love different from the love we have for our other children.

No less, No more.

I think the difference with Chloe is the degree that she needs us.

We were both struck with the thought of how incredible the feeling of love for a child with Downs Syndrome would be. I have often thought that these children who are blessed with an extra chromosome love more like Jesus than anyone I know.

My prayer is to be able to love and to give as these children; orphans whether special needs or not.

Those orphans who have been adopted know what grace is.

I know what grace is and I want that feeling for all.

The grace and adoption which comes from our Heavenly Father. However, for those orphans yet adopted to know it we must show them.