Yesterday Chloe started dealing with her pain and confusion by asking for me.
It is quite understandable for a child brought up in an orphanage to escape within during times of confusion and pain. Chloe handled things this way, initially, when she came home from China. We have had some head banging, hair pulling and chewing on fingers but for the most part she did not want to be touched or talked to when in pain or stressed for that first month at home.
Normal.
Understandable.
Very Hard.
In China and for a little while once returning home to the states, Chloe would have nothing to do with me or Raeya. She was only Daddy's girl. This is a common thing that occurs in the adoption process. The child associates the female with abandonment and feels more secure with the males. This happened with our first adoption and with Chloe.
With all Chloe has been through with this hospital stay, for the first three weeks here, she reverted back to those old ways of coping. However, yesterday she started asking me to rub her feet. That was my way of being close to both girls initially when they had not bonded with me. Who does not like the soles of their feet rubbed regardless who it is from?!
She is coming around.
Today I have seen that spark in her eye and the mischievous little girl starting to show her colors again.
I made a quick trip to the book store today to get some new books. The hospital here is wonderful but their rental library is lacking in Christian or any spiritual books.
I plan on correcting that for future families.
Anyway, while Chloe was sleeping I ran and got one book by Charles Swindoll and one by Ted Dekker.
I placed the books on her bed while we made 40 paper dolls. As she tired of this, I asked if she would like me to go and get her some books. Another trip down stairs to check out lots of children's books. As I came back to her door and peeked inside, our little prankster had gotten the Charles Swindoll book, Embraced by the Spirit, and propped it up on her toy lap top like she was reading it. Oh, if I could have only caught her smile on camera when she saw me.
I am so thankful she did not chose the other book by Ted Dekker, The Priest's Graveyard.
I am so thankful for that special bond she still has with her Baba.
Most of all, I am so thankful for the joy one day when she realizes how fully the Spirit has embraced her.
Smiling. Smiling at her heart tip toeing to yours. To God be the glory, great things He has done. Way to walk and walk, and love and love, you persevering, steadfast mother, you!
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