This is very hard and scary for me to write.
As I said in a previous post, I have never asked for a lot, especially from God. Some children grow up learning not to trust or to expect too much. They do this to protect themselves from hurting. I have shared with you my desire to first of all seek God with all my heart but secondly to allow me to love two special boys as children in my home and not from a far.
This is asking a lot.
Especially from a child who learned not to trust authority figures. What bigger authority is there than God?
NONE.
Yes, this is very HARD.
Also, I have always been one to follow the rules. I grew up in a family where rules, spoken and unspoken, were very important. I am stepping outside of the rules set by man and I will be honest with you, I am scared but trusting with all my heart.
Why is my adoption blog about Chloe named the Faith of Noah?
Families involved in the adoption process know that children in orphanages have to be named, labeled, categorized in some way. Many agencies do this by assigning the child an English name, a number, or a name representative of the country they live in. It just so happens that one of the little boys we want to adopt was assigned the name Noah. I need to stress here that once we learned his real name we no longer called him by his assigned name. We referred to him by the name that he knew himself as. I filed away the name Noah in the back of my mind and did not think of him as that any longer, but only as the name he knew himself as.
When we were in the process of paper chasing for our daughter Chloe, we learned she had a close group of friends, a rat pack of four sweethearts. Chloe would be coming home to us in September, her girl friend would be going home to her family in October, but two other special friends remained behind. Can you imagine the sadness experienced by the children who see friend after friend leave and you are still left. Why was I not chosen?
We could see the bond of Chloe and Noah in particular. Our hearts ached at the thought of separating these two children. A little girl who had gone through so much pain in her short life, who had loved and lost a special ayi, and who was about to be thrown into an entirely different world devoid of anything familiar. Greg and I apart from each, he in Afghanistan and I in Colorado Springs, both were burdened with the desire to bring this little boy home. Imagine the awe when we discussed this over phone and found we were both at the same time a world apart being led to bring home the same little boy.
We knew that no matter what the special need even if his body was ravage by cancer we were going to do this. His special need was not terminal cancer. His special needs were rules and laws. We were told we could not adopt him. I called agency after agency and was told there was nothing anyone could do. Thankfully, I do not serve a God limited by man's rules, laws or time schedule.
Please visit this site and watch this video. I have tried to different times to download it and after 4 hours each time with no success of getting her on my blog I gave up.
http://vimeo.com/13888620
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