Why Noah, part 3

When we did our first home study for the adoption of Raeya, our social worker was very concerned about our ability to withstand the whispers, comments, questions and stares from strangers because we were an "international family".

Little did she know that our military life was a life of international blending. As she spoke to us about this in our government quarters in East Point, Atlanta, I served her sweet tea recently purchased from a grocery store where I was the only Caucasian in the store. Over this tea, I could tell her the story of getting lost in Korea in a town where no one spoke English and my few words of Korean would not help me find my way back to post. Talk about whispers, comments and stares.

Yes, we stand out a little. Not all that much in Colorado Springs. We have moved 10 times since being married courtesy of the US Army and I have never lived anywhere that had so many adoptive and foster families.

After 23 years, I am home!

But comments and questions from others do not offend me in the least. It gives me a chance to share our story and the love of my Saviour. In a country where you can find more that one church on some corners, I share my story of God's love but it is in China where I long to stand in the gap and show my Saviour's love.

As my heart has cried out for the two boys we long to bring home, I have found it hard to concentrate on the here and now sometimes. I found myself in this very situation the Sunday before Easter as I sat listening to our wonderful pastor. I bowed my head and said a short prayer asking God to clear my mind for the moment of these two boys so I could hear His Word. The message that came back to me as I sat there humbled and teachable was, "Amy, through these two boys, My Name will be glorified".



Are you talking to me?

I am not one to share things like this and honestly I have not been one to whole heartedly embrace comments from others when they say, "God told me this....". I quickly reasoned that this was my own inner voice telling me what I wanted to hear and thus, was able to concentrate on the sermon.

It took me a couple of weeks to even share this experience with my husband. Another three months to share it here. Was this something I willed myself to hear because I wanted to hear it so badly or was this my Lord telling me He has it under control and I need not worry about it and I can rest the situation in His hands, concentrate on Him, and share the wonders of His Love.

Stay with me and we will find our together.

I hope to finish "the Calling to Noah" with one more entry and I pray you will be moved, you will pray and you will share my story with others.

God is moving.

He is calling.

He is waiting.

Don't miss it.



What is the 10/40 Window?

Where are the Most Unreached?




Today the reality is that 97 percent of the world's unreached lives in the 10/40 Window, a rectangular shaped area on our globe extending from West Africa to East Asia, from 10 degrees north to 40 degrees north of the equator.

In this part of the world, millions live with little or no chance of ever hearing the Gospel. The Window also encompasses the majority of the world's Muslims, Hindus, and Buddhists.

The Neglected Window

Although 97 percent of the world's unreached lives in the 10/40 Window ... Less than 0.05% of our total resources as the Church in the West are being sent to help share the Good News.

Truly there is a staggering amount of work to do.
Within the 10/40 Window:
•The darkest of all areas within the 10/40 Window is Asia.
•Over 80,000 die every day in Asian countries without knowing about the love of Jesus Christ.
•500,000 villages in India alone have never heard the Gospel.

You just can't love enough

Chloe surprised us at how well she did the first day after her first operation. I was told the second day is always worst but I clung to faith that as tough as this little girl was that we were going to show them all a miracle!

For 8 days, Chloe got gradually worse. Remember, we were only suppose to recuperate at the hospital for 7 days max.

I had been by her side all but one day. Greg stayed at the hospital on a Saturday night that first week to give me a break. He was unable to get off work during the week so he kept the household running and the income coming while I kept watch of Chloe.

Greg and I both learned a lot with this "deployment" for me. I have weathered many deployments of Greg's. Some during war time abroad and some state side assisting during times of nature's ravage on earth. Even though I knew being with Chloe was the right thing and I had been equipped to meet her needs like no one else, I felt so helpless to my family back at home. I wanted to be able to be there and do for them. Greg being so far from us at many times during his life, I am sure felt this way so much more than I. Greg also learned what it felt like to be the "dependent" back at home trying to play the role of mom and dad. I think we both have a new found respect for each other's callings in life.



The realization came that Chloe was not going to pull out of this without intervention from the surgical team. I called Greg at work and he got to Denver in record time. We went with our daughter as far as they would let us go, kissed her, told her how much we loved her and that we would be there when she woke up. We walked to the waiting room prepared for the hours it would take to correct the problem in her tiny little body. As we sat there, we discussed the miraculous love we had for her.

A love different from the love we have for our other children.

No less, No more.

I think the difference with Chloe is the degree that she needs us.

We were both struck with the thought of how incredible the feeling of love for a child with Downs Syndrome would be. I have often thought that these children who are blessed with an extra chromosome love more like Jesus than anyone I know.

My prayer is to be able to love and to give as these children; orphans whether special needs or not.

Those orphans who have been adopted know what grace is.

I know what grace is and I want that feeling for all.

The grace and adoption which comes from our Heavenly Father. However, for those orphans yet adopted to know it we must show them.

Why Noah? part 2

With our adoption of Raeya, we were not allowed to visit the Social Welfare Institute. We did meet the director and an ayi on Gotcha Day and the following day when we finalized the paper work and accepted our little girl.

With Chloe, we were allowed to visit the orphanage even though we were told before heading to China we would not be allowed to. Oh, the joy and excitement of being able to see where she grew up and the wonderful people who took care of her. We were also hopeful that we would be able to see her friends and find out why we could not adopt her special friend. Up until this point we were only told that their were rules that would not allow to do so.

Our wonderful guide arranged all of our transportation needs and double checked with us to make sure we really wanted to do this. She was not so sure it would be a good idea for Chloe to go back. I had talked to several families who were blessed with the experience of an adoption trip to the orphanage and felt we were doing the right thing.

So, we get to the train station early in the morning! We have toys and snacks to keep the girls occupied. Greg and I have lots of time to people watch. I have fallen in love with the Chinese people.



Our guide, Isabel, hurried us to the front of the train to get a family photo before settling into our private section. We were excited, nervous and humbled about this opportunity to see and experience, with Chloe, the first 5 years of her life that we had missed out on. At no time did we think that the 5 years "missed" was actually 5 years of God lining up all the "coincidences" we would encounter with this adoption.



On the train, we settled in and looked out the windows in anticipation of seeing the land from which or daughter came. Memories and pictures we could put away to tell her later when she began to ask questions. However, the action and memories were about to occur inside the train as a young female attendant began changing the cushion covers in our cabin.

The province, where Chloe was born, does not see as many Caucasians as other provinces so we were an attraction to be stared at, asked questions of, taken pictures with and the most fun of all was to help with English practice.

This young girl who was changing cushion covers could not keep her eyes off our girls.


She sat down with us and began asking Isabel questions. Isabel explained that this young lady was overwhelmed that we had two daughters from China. She herself had been abandoned at the age of 4 on a street corner. Parents who were faced with no good options did what they thought was best.

I think everyone is aware of the one child rule in China. A rule that is suppose to help with the over population of this beautiful country. However, there are 5 groups that are currently allowed to have a second child. Chinese couples in rural areas are allowed to have a second child if their first-born is a girl, as are couples from China’s ethnic minority groups. Families where the father is an occupation deemed to be dangerous like a soldier, fisherman, etc...Families in which both parents are only children, or where the first offspring is disabled, may also have a second child. For those families that do not fall into this category or a family in the category that has three children, a high tax is required. A tax that many times is more than the families annual salary.

This young girl fell into the last category. She had an older sister who was able to help the family more and a younger brother who would insure the parents were taken care of in the older years. The family could not pay the tax and the only option left for the family was to abandon the child so she could be taken to an orphanage and adopted by another family. She was adopted by a family with a disabled son. She was adopted to take of the son when the parents were no longer physically able. She worked four jobs to send money back home to them.

As Isabel, told us her story this young girl broke into tears and began crying. She told us she was the naughty one and this is why she was abandoned. As children, when tragedies happen at such an early age we blame ourselves. Some are lucky and a person will step into their lives to love them and healing can occur. Others are not so lucky. They suffer a tragedy in the home and no one steps in to love them. Parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles all turn a blind eye and this child grows up to think they are a no body and they will rebel or try to earn love.


But the party grew and we left them laughing. Isabel has looked for this young girl every time she has ridden the Bullet Train and has not been able to find her again. She left such an impression on us.



These children whether in an orphanage across the ocean, here in the United States or in a family next door to you need your love. Please do not turn a blind eye.

Adoption is not for everyone. There are many ways to make a difference in a child's life. Some times just taking that extra time to invite a child over to your home so they can see what real love looks like can make all the difference in the world.

I believe God has called me to work with the orphans in China. I do not know how yet. I know that a great burden has been placed on my heart. I know that my heart understands these children who have been set aside by family members regardless of the reason it had to be done.

We can not point fingers and blame the Chinese people. Not even if you have been there and visited in their homes can you understand the great pressure they are under. However, we can blame ourselves for not doing anything about it.



Hey, I think my family is great and we hope to be back to get you soon. We now know the obstacles of making you part of our family but we know we are fit for the race.
Love you, Chloe.

Why the Faith of Noah? part 1

This is very hard and scary for me to write.

As I said in a previous post, I have never asked for a lot, especially from God. Some children grow up learning not to trust or to expect too much. They do this to protect themselves from hurting. I have shared with you my desire to first of all seek God with all my heart but secondly to allow me to love two special boys as children in my home and not from a far.

This is asking a lot.

Especially from a child who learned not to trust authority figures. What bigger authority is there than God?

NONE.

Yes, this is very HARD.

Also, I have always been one to follow the rules. I grew up in a family where rules, spoken and unspoken, were very important. I am stepping outside of the rules set by man and I will be honest with you, I am scared but trusting with all my heart.

Why is my adoption blog about Chloe named the Faith of Noah?

Families involved in the adoption process know that children in orphanages have to be named, labeled, categorized in some way. Many agencies do this by assigning the child an English name, a number, or a name representative of the country they live in. It just so happens that one of the little boys we want to adopt was assigned the name Noah. I need to stress here that once we learned his real name we no longer called him by his assigned name. We referred to him by the name that he knew himself as. I filed away the name Noah in the back of my mind and did not think of him as that any longer, but only as the name he knew himself as.

When we were in the process of paper chasing for our daughter Chloe, we learned she had a close group of friends, a rat pack of four sweethearts. Chloe would be coming home to us in September, her girl friend would be going home to her family in October, but two other special friends remained behind. Can you imagine the sadness experienced by the children who see friend after friend leave and you are still left. Why was I not chosen?

We could see the bond of Chloe and Noah in particular. Our hearts ached at the thought of separating these two children. A little girl who had gone through so much pain in her short life, who had loved and lost a special ayi, and who was about to be thrown into an entirely different world devoid of anything familiar. Greg and I apart from each, he in Afghanistan and I in Colorado Springs, both were burdened with the desire to bring this little boy home. Imagine the awe when we discussed this over phone and found we were both at the same time a world apart being led to bring home the same little boy.

We knew that no matter what the special need even if his body was ravage by cancer we were going to do this. His special need was not terminal cancer. His special needs were rules and laws. We were told we could not adopt him. I called agency after agency and was told there was nothing anyone could do. Thankfully, I do not serve a God limited by man's rules, laws or time schedule.

Please visit this site and watch this video. I have tried to different times to download it and after 4 hours each time with no success of getting her on my blog I gave up.

http://vimeo.com/13888620

One little monkey in the bed

The girls finally slept each in their own bed last night!

In the orphanages in China, the beds are side by side up against each other. Chloe slept next to her best friend who she calls Esha. Every night for the first month when we brought her home she cried herself to sleep longing for Esha to be beside her. To help comfort her, she slept in the bottom bunk with her sister, Raeya, and with me just until she fell asleep. After two months, I was finally able to leave her bed but Raeya was still required to be in the same bed with her.

Last night I was slapped with a double whammy of Raeya losing her first tooth and my little Chloe sleeping in the bottom bunk by herself while her sister moved up on the top bunk.

My girls are growing up and starting to loosen the grip on their mom a little.

Rejoicing and Remorsing?

REJOICING and maybe just a little bit of remorsing.

Many Blessings

Spark Plug!

She's getting her spunk back!!

The decision of when to operate is a tricky one for adoptive families with special needs. Some parents have no choice due to the severity of their child's condition and must operate right away, others are able to wait until bonding is secure, and many just need to monitor their children for several years before or if ever intervening surgically.

The extent of Chloe's condition was unknown for several months. Upon bringing Chloe home, we had several appointments with various specialists. Her nephrologist was able to find the right dosage of medicines that balanced out her body allowing her to feel "normal". This specialist said that Chloe would have felt horrible all the time as evidenced by her blood work. I am so thankful for the time we had with Chloe before the operation. Time of her feeling really good. We learned during this time that our little girl was quite the Spark Plug!

The information we received about Chloe prior to adopting her was that she was introverted. When we were able to bring her home, we learned she was quite the teaser. She is able to stand toe to toe with the male teenagers in the house as well as with her dad. She is always playing tricks and she keeps us laughing. She loves to giggle and the melodious laugh of hers is like glass tinkling. I am so thankful for the time we had to bond and get to know her before she was hospitalized for 22 days.

Chloe is doing great. She is able to slowly climb stairs now. She has ventured out to the play ground and bravely climbs the ladder to take a fast exit from the tree house down the slide. She has begun to hug, kiss and tell us she loves again.

We were told this would be a 3 month recovery process and we are right on track. We have all grown during the past month. You learn you can handle a lot more than you think. I think the most important thing stressed to us again and again is that the most important thing is not the home you live in, cars you drive, clothes you wear, how much money is in the bank, but the love you give. Through loving Chloe and bringing her into our family we have received way more than we have given.

Greg and I are facing many changes in our lives now and in the next year. Lots of uncertainty but we seek to give more love and bring more children home. A desire we have clung to for over a year.

I have never been one to have lots of desires. However, as my life unfolds I find my Lord giving me the desires of my heart that I never asked from Him. As I child, I had a silly crush on John Denver and wanted to live in Colorado. Until we moved here to Black Forest, Colorado, I had forgotten that desire. When Greg and I first talked about having kids, I wanted to adopt but it was not an option at the time. Twelve years later, Greg out of the blue asks me what I think about adoption. I could go on and on.....

Today I have decided to surrender my desire for adoption to the Lord. My desire to become more of the person He wants me to be is much greater. I am told it is okay to still want this for our family. God has put desire in our hearts. We were made to desire and and it is His hope that we will chose to desire Him more than anything else. We lose our way when our desire for food, alcohol, drugs, money, etc... is used to fill that great longing in our heart. A God size longing that can never be filled with things of this kingdom but only of a Heavenly Kingdom.

So, starting today I will strive foremost to be a spark plug like our little Chloe for my Lord and in the process lead Chloe to do the same with that ever learning, developing, and growing glow in her heart that has lead us to think of her as our Spark Plug.

I will allow God to do what He wills with my desire for two little boys.

Many Blessings

It's all in the timing

"For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay."

Habakkuk 2:3 ESV

Our adoption agency has given us the opportunity along with several other families to tell our story to CCCWA, China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption.

This is an opportunity for us that walks a few steps further down a path we felt led to pursue a year ago.

Please pray for me as I write this letter. Please pray for our family, the CCCWA, and our adoption agency.

I want to be able to clearly articulate the perfect placement of our daughter Chloe, the joy she has brought into our lives, how she has thrived with us, how her life was saved by Denver Children's hospital, the lives she has touched here, the fact that she would not have survived at all if it were not for the orphanage director and the lovely ladies at Jinjiang SWI. I need to stand out among the other thousands of adoptive parents that will be sending letters.

The lives of two little boys can have a change for the better through this letter. Two boys that we have been trying to get home for over a year now.

We have had many doors shut in our faces but with perseverance we have marched. We have found that God's timing is everything.

I have delayed writing letters to various people in China because I did not feel like the timing was right. On Wednesday, I was asked to write a letter and with your prayers I proceed this noon time hour. This hour of of feeding, ministering, nurturing, providing, encouraging.

I pray I can do that for these two boys born of our heart.

There is no place like home

And Chloe is sitting beside me playing on the blanket with the puppies.

When they told me we could go home the first thing she said is she wanted to play with the puppies.

I believe with all my heart that this child was meant to be ours. Would we have fallen in love with another child if I did not happen to come upon Yujun's photo? Yes, and her story would have been just as miraculous. However, the "coincidences" surrounding our Precious Jade are just too unreal.

We are home with the puppies and would you believe that the smallest puppy of the litter, our surprise puppy, that we named after Chloe's urologist, Duncan, has a meningocele.

Little Chloe that wears size 2 and 3 clothing. The smallest in her class in China at 24 pounds and 35 inches, who came to us with a meningocele has chosen her favorite puppy, Duncan.

Duncan.

The puppy who received an nasal gastric tube, and IV fluids while Chloe was in the hospital with a nasal gastric tube and IV fluids to overcome her set backs.

My husband nursed Duncan and kept him alive while Duncan the urologist nursed Chloe and kept her alive.

I am not sure I would call this God's since of humor.

Maybe a reminder that He has not forgotten us.

We have faced 3 years of simultaneous and concurrent trials, tribulations, and losses.

We cling to Him and our faith.

"In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which perishes, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ."1 Peter 1:6-7

We are home and we anxiously await to be taken to our home in His heavenly kingdom leaving this earthly kingdom behind.

Many Blessings


I can wait to share all that God showed us through Chloe's hospitalization!

Hello Sunshine...

Yesterday Chloe started dealing with her pain and confusion by asking for me.

It is quite understandable for a child brought up in an orphanage to escape within during times of confusion and pain. Chloe handled things this way, initially, when she came home from China. We have had some head banging, hair pulling and chewing on fingers but for the most part she did not want to be touched or talked to when in pain or stressed for that first month at home.

Normal.

Understandable.

Very Hard.

In China and for a little while once returning home to the states, Chloe would have nothing to do with me or Raeya. She was only Daddy's girl. This is a common thing that occurs in the adoption process. The child associates the female with abandonment and feels more secure with the males. This happened with our first adoption and with Chloe.

With all Chloe has been through with this hospital stay, for the first three weeks here, she reverted back to those old ways of coping. However, yesterday she started asking me to rub her feet. That was my way of being close to both girls initially when they had not bonded with me. Who does not like the soles of their feet rubbed regardless who it is from?!

She is coming around.

Today I have seen that spark in her eye and the mischievous little girl starting to show her colors again.

I made a quick trip to the book store today to get some new books. The hospital here is wonderful but their rental library is lacking in Christian or any spiritual books.

I plan on correcting that for future families.

Anyway, while Chloe was sleeping I ran and got one book by Charles Swindoll and one by Ted Dekker.

I placed the books on her bed while we made 40 paper dolls. As she tired of this, I asked if she would like me to go and get her some books. Another trip down stairs to check out lots of children's books. As I came back to her door and peeked inside, our little prankster had gotten the Charles Swindoll book, Embraced by the Spirit, and propped it up on her toy lap top like she was reading it. Oh, if I could have only caught her smile on camera when she saw me.

I am so thankful she did not chose the other book by Ted Dekker, The Priest's Graveyard.

I am so thankful for that special bond she still has with her Baba.

Most of all, I am so thankful for the joy one day when she realizes how fully the Spirit has embraced her.

Puppies

BooBoo, Baron, and Hurley welcomed Chloe home from China in September along with our two sons and her grandfather.

Chloe was not too impressed with any of them, especially the three bulldogs.

However, after a month and a litter of puppies, she is as in love with the snorting, slobbering and saprostomous canines.

Ever since the last litter left us she has been asking for more puppies. To our delight, when she comes home from the hospital she will be arriving home to a litter of four bulldogs.

As you know from an earlier post, we named one puppy after Chloe's nurse, Bry. We also named a puppy after her wonderful urologist. He was there for us around the clock when Chloe's obstruction occurred after her first operation. I have never meet a doctor with such compassion. So, he had a puppy named for him, Duncan.

Duncan, the puppy, has run into some complications. We are praying for him. Greg is taking him to the vet at this moment. I will not give up on Duncan. It is not an option.

Please pray for this silly little dog. A dog that represents Chloe's fight to get better.

A fight that was fought by God through our wonderful Duncan, the urologist.

Many Blessings,
Amy

Surgery plus three, S+3

We are three days from surgery day and Chloe is looking much better.

Thankfully, they do not tell you how bad your daughter "was" until she "is" better.

The surgery was an emergency. I was hoping they would wait until morning but they did not want to risk something bursting in her abdomen. Her tummy was so taunt that it sounded like a drum, her blood vessels were pushed to the surface of the abdomen looking like a road map and her skin was so shiny.

I do not think they would have gotten to her in time if it had not been for a special nurse. She stood up for Chloe and stuck to her evaluations that something was definitely not right and waiting any longer would only do damage.

It reminds me of the story of Esther. This young nurse, with her dark hair and dark skin could be an Esther look-a-like. Esther, an orphan, raised by her uncle stood up in the face of death to rescue her fellow Jews. Oh, to have the faith of Esther. This nurse, of faith, stood up, respectfully asked, did not back down to what she knew was right even though she could have been dismissed.

We named one of our Bulldogs after the nurse. Not much in the way of thanks, I know.

I am pretty sure we will come back up to visit all the wonderful nurses on TCH6 when Chloe, Raeya and I come up on our nephrologist appointments every 3 months. The girls and I will make many wonderful treats for these nurses who go above and beyond what is required.

At three days after surgery, Chloe has been able to lengthen her time between extra pain medication boluses, she is interested in doing puzzles, coloring and playing with some very special Hello Kitty sticker books.

Everyone is amazed still at the way she has hung in there. God has granted this little one another recovery from a near fatal health status.

Serving Him in the good and what seems to be the not-so-good.

Many Blessings,
Amy

Sometimes life seems unfair

Chloe and I were awoken at 11:30pm to be told that she would be going back into surgery in 2.5 hours.

She has had two really bad days and nights. Even with all the pain meds she has been lying in bed moaning and crying.

Dr. Simon will be doing exploratory surgery with a possible resection of the colon and a colostomy.

I read these two paragraphs tonight before kissing Chloe good night. How appropriate after a nurse and I were crying together this afternoon about Chloe's situation.

Philip Yancey, Disappointment with God, writes:

No matter how we rationalize, God will sometimes seem unfair from the perspective of a person trapped in time. Only at the end of time, after we have attained God's level of viewing, after every evil has been punished or forgiven, every illness healed, and the entire universe restored-only then will fairness reign. Then we will understand what role is played by evil, and by the Fall, and by natural law, in an "unfair" event like the death of a child. until then, we will not know, and can only trust in a God who does know.

We remain ignorant of many details, not because God enjoys keeping us in the dark, but because we have not the faculties to absorb so much light. At a single glance God knows what the world is about and how history will end. But we time-bound creatures have only the most primitive manner of understanding: we can let time pass. Not until history has run its course will we understand how "all things work together for good." Faith means believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse.

Time to get some coffee and wait for my little one to come out of surgery. Praying it is a success and we get back home before the three week marker.

Many Blessings,
Amy