Husband, four kids, dog and God in my Trailblazer

We recently took a trip with my husband to Salt Lake City, Utah. It was to be business and pleasure. A chance to get out of our surroundings, forget about everything, focus on ourselves and forget about responsibilities, for a while.

Bah, ha, ha, ha, ha!

I am glad God came along and did not require much space in my Trailblazer.

With two adults, two kids in car seats, two teenagers with legs longer than my body and a bulldog, a bulldog that weighs 45 pounds in muscle and stubbornness, we head off to Utah. Not exactly the crew we had intended to take, but when life throws you a complication you adjust and keep going.

So Hurley, the bulldog, after having a heat stroke due to neglect at the kennel is saved, he gets to go on vacation with us. He was such a treat and all the kids have voted to take him on the next vacation!





After nine hours of travel, we roll into one of our favorite Chinese restaurant franchises to get supper. Our orders are taken by the sweetest young lady just out of high school. She is Asian as our girls are, which is always an opening for conversation. This young girl, S, immediately asked about the adoption of the girls. S was adopted as well. Before her adoption, she lived in the Philippines with her dad and two siblings. She told us her heart breaking story.

Her mother left the family leaving her dad to support and take care of the children. Unfortunately, her father got tuberculosis and due to the high transmission rate and the conditions they lived under, the children not too long after were infected with tuberculosis as well. S's father died leaving her, a child not yet in her teens, to take care of her younger brother and sister. She had no one to step in and fill the gap. She did her best. She did what she had to do to be the sole provider, mother and father to her siblings. S, whose sister was still in diapers, learned many things at an early age.

Most of us out live our parents and know the pain of their deaths. Our parent's deaths are expected but not as such a young age.

However, not many of us experience the death of a younger sibling when we are still children ourselves.

She soon found herself dealing with the death of her sister due to tuberculosis. S and her brother then came to the attention of the government and they were placed in an orphanage. She and her brother were adopted by different families in the United States. Years later, she was able to find her brother and has been able to visit with him. She has now graduated from high school, and is saving money to return to her home country of the Philippines. She dreams of working with children and one day opening an orphanage of her own.

As Greg and I adjusted to the small things; death of a puppy, near death of another dog, Com cast leaving our gate open while we were away and our dogs escaping. All things that happened leading up to and during our "escape".

We were reminded that there are much greater adjustments innocent children of this world experience. Miraculously, S and her brother were given a home with the love of parents who helped heal the wounds. However the scars still remain. They remain as a reminder.

There are thousands of children still waiting to know the love of a family. Children who long for a family. Chloe has told us that she wanted a family while she was living in China. She tells us that she and her friends talked about having a family. She asks every day if she can go and get her friends and have them spend the night with us.

These "lucky" children, children who have been given a home or sponsored by a family, have been given much and they are giving much more back. Oh, for those of us who have been blessed with the love of a family from the very beginning, what are we giving back?

"For everyone to whom much is given, of him shall much be required." -- Luke 12:48

I am no Biblical scholar, but as I have grown and examined my life, I can not help but wonder if "those who much has been given to" are the ones who have experienced more pain in life.

Is it not those who have the most to share with us?

Is it not those who are the strongest?

Is it not those who are the most humble?

I wonder.

We did not escape the trials of life on our vacation. Instead, we were reminded of God's call on our life to help the orphan and the saving Grace of God and His tender Mercies.

I left my email address with this young lady hoping I can help her dream come true.

I know through our prayers for her, we can be a part of the unfolding miracle of her life spiritually if not physically.

I am glad we did not leave God at home when we went on our vacation. To think of all I would have missed out on. There will always be enough room in my Trailblazer!

In His Name,
Amy

What a week, feeling weak, but trusting in His strength

God is teaching us more and more to depend only on Him.

This past week has been fraught with trials.

The threat of death, the loss of another pet, a complication with Chloe's operation, an emotional set back in our quest for adoption of two boys, and four kids and a 45 pound dog in a confined space for 9 hours.

Only by the grace of God did we all come through for the better but still with so much more to learn and to trust God with.

When does it end? Only with His coming to take us home. Until then, we will continue to learn from our trials and put our trust in Him. It is only through the hardship and often pain that I learn.

And, I am learning.

Recently, I have had a misunderstanding clarified. In our quest for the boys born of our heart, I thought the children were available for domestic adoption in their country but not international adoption. It seemed reasonable to me that since they were about to enter school and were not yet chosen by a domestic family that it would make sense to allow them to be adopted internationally. However, I was wrong. These children are not available for adoption domestically or internationally. With this clarification, my heart suffered a temporary set back. I felt hopeless, I doubted myself and wondered if I was setting myself up for heartache.

It just so happens that I had been studying the life of Moses for the past month. The Moses of the Bible and not the Charleton Heston Moses. By no means do I equate myself with even the weakest part of Moses' character, but I do know that the life of Moses was given to us in written word so that we could learn from him. Learn from him, I did, as ET would say.

I know that God works best in the "impossible" situations. I know that God can do whatever He wants regardless of the rules. I know that I have told God I will follow Him regardless of what the outcome is, especially if the outcome is not first of all the one I seek for myself. I am here to serve Him and not my own desires.

As I have stated before, there is no way I can explain why these two boys. I know that when I found out initially that it would be a challenge, I started setting my sights on finding two other children. My husband, who has always been the leader in our adoption endeavors, is the one who said we would not give up on these boys. As I cried over the news that are odds at making a difference in their lives was slim to none, my husband once again reminded me we would not give up on these two boys. It was not my heart that wanted to stop fighting for them. It was the fear that my life was not worthy enough to make a difference. A lie that Satan frequently tells me.

Just yesterday Chloe's nurse told me, "We all need to learn from Chloe and to never be satisfied to color within the lines." In honor of my daughter, who asks to send bottles of snow to her best friends in China, and in submission to my Lord who has laid these two boys on my heart, I will stand strong in the face of impossibilities and trust Him to make my life worthy in this pursuit for the two boys born of our heart.

A sad day but a life that served its purpose

I have written about our little puppy Duncan who was born while Chloe was in the hospital being treated for some of her spina bifida issues. Duncan was also born with spina bifida. He was named after the doctor who was treating Chloe.

Chloe was in so much pain in the hospital. Her little body was not cooperating and the doctors were trying so hard to put the pieces of the puzzle together that she was presenting. As a most loved nurse said, "Chloe does not color in between the lines." How appropriate! We are a family that scoffs at the lines.

To be emotionally there for Chloe, I had to lean on the Lord completely. I prayed and read my Bible while Chloe was sleeping. I also compartmentalized a lot of the emotion. At the time, I did not realize I was doing this but now with the death of little Duncan, I know where all those emotions went.

The Lord does work in mysterious ways and He is there for us all the time whether we realize it or not. The little dog who "happened" to have a diagnosis the same as my daughter and who "happened" to get the name of Duncan outof a litter of four was where all my emotions went. This was God carrying me through for the sake of my daughter.

We, as Christians, believe that our up most calling is to be a servant, slave, for His will. I am here to fulfill his mission in my life. The mission, most often, is not a glorious, easy, famous, luxurious stroll through the park. We know that by looking at the lives of his disciples.

I have rocked, kissed on, hand fed, and researched doctors to treat Duncan. I thought he would be a candidate for the Wounded Warrior Program where he and a soldier could work through the emotions of an altered life but a life with much purpose and promise.

Instead, I have found that he helped me work through the emotions of a near loss of our daughter.

I was told in the hospital by one of the nurses that I was the strongest woman she had ever met. That is not true, I am a simple woman carried by the love of her Savior and a sweet little puppy that will always hold a special place in my heart.

We will miss you Duncan.

There are humans and there are dogs but somewhere inbetween are English Bulldogs: Wounded Warriors

We are all wounded warriors in some way or another.

To love means to put a person or an object above yourself, to sacrifice and to fight for that person or thing deemed worthy of your up most attention.

If you have ever loved, you have felt the joy and also the pain surrendering yourself; your wants, needs and desires to another. We are all wounded warriors.

However, the wounded warriors I refer to today are our men and women who serve our country and have come home with serious injuries; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. For the love of their country and the love of their fellow man, they knowingly accepted the risk of death and destruction to ensure we had the opportunity to make the most of our lives.

My husband has served in the military for 23 years and has put his life on the line more than a few times. He has always returned home and although he has suffered no physical harm, each deployment has changed him as a person. We are very fortunate.

As we draw a close to our years of service, we look back upon all the trial and triumphs of the years. We have grown and learned so much and are thankful for all the opportunities the Army has provided for us to push ourselves and become better people. It is a part of us and we want to remain a part of it.

As I type this I have a little English Bulldog in my lap that is barking. Our little Dunc. Dunc entered the world much like our recently adopted daughter, Chloe. Dunc has spina bifida. He was born while Chloe was in the hospital undergoing surgery for some complications due to her spina bifida. Dunc was also named after a beloved surgeon who was treating Chloe. We did not now of Dunc's spina bifida when we named him. He was a little smaller than the other puppies but we thought we was just going to be the "runt".

We watched over Dunc, hand fed him, and gave him more one on one time with his mom that the other puppies. Much the same as Chloe received from three special ladies, her Missouri Aunties, in the United States and from the wonderful directors and women at her orphanage in south east China. I know that Chloe would not have survived if it were not for this extra loving attention and prayers she received from those who cared for her.

Just like Chloe, as Dunc passed through the next few days we could see that he was different. He was special! Dunc and Chloe have a common thread. We are not turning our backs on Dunc. He has pulled through two times when an ordinary dog would not have made it. He is a fighter just like our little Chloe.

As I researched Chloe's special needs before we brought her home I was also preparing myself for the special needs her favorite dog would have. In order to honor her and her dog Dunc, we are going to do a fundraiser for the Wounded Warrior Program serving our injured service men and women. We are getting together a group of veterinarians who will be able to provide Dunc with the surgeries he needs to be a happy and healthy dog. We will be raising money to pay for his surgery and will give him to a service member in the Wounded Warrior Program.

Black Forest Bullies has worked with the Wounded Warrior Program before in welcoming service members at the Colorado Springs Airport to our lovely city where they received rehabilitative care at our Olympic Training Center. The smiles and tears of these men and women left an impression on us that we will never forget. An impression we don't want to ever forget either.

Please pray with us that we will be able to put the correct team together and will receive the funding we need to warm the heart and home of Dunc and a special service member.

Yes, miracles still happen

Yesterday, I loaded the girls up for a trip to Denver.

"We are going to get your tubes out today!", I told Chloe as we piled into the car.

Chloe left the hospital with two drainage tubes. No, big deal really. I think the most perplexing thing was the awkwardness. She did not want them strapped or taped to her leg but she also did not like to step on them or have someone else accidentally pull on them. We managed and they are still intact after being home for three weeks.

She was a bit scared as we drove to Denver. She was sure it was going to hurt when the nurse had to remove them. I assured her that mom would be there and it would be much better when they were gone.

The girls played in the waiting room with all the magnetics, cars and books while we awaited out turn. Chloe diligently hopped up and went to the screening room when her name was called. She has gained two pounds since coming home, has grown an inch so she gets to wear a yellow necklace at the YMCA pool now instead of red, and she offered up her right arm for a blood pressure check with no delay. This is a brave girl after all the pokes and prodes at the hospital!

We were promptly taken to the examining room to await the doctor. The girls climbed on top of the examining table and were looking out the window at all the "Big Cowboy Trucks" when our doctor came into the room. He asked a few questions, pondered my answers, asked a few more questions and then told me Chloe was doing absolutely AMAZING!

Before the operation we were given the general typical recovery times based on "normal" times from other patients recoveries. Chloe would be in the hospital for a week following the operation and it would be a long summer with a three to four month recovery at home.

Chloe's God is not "normal". As I said before, I prayed that we could somehow be used by God in this process to point others toward our Saviour.

We stayed in the hospital for three weeks. After all, how can you really get to know someone and impact them in only a week! We came home with some powerful pain medicine and the determination to make the 3-4 months go as smoothly as possible.

Chloe was off the pain medicine in less than a week. She was climbing ladders and jumping on the trampoline 10 days after coming home. Over the 4th of July she went on a hike to the waterfalls before watching the fireworks.






Our God is good all the time. All the time! Not only in the mountain top highs but in the hospital when you are undergoing your third operation to try and save a life.

Chloe is not the only "miracle" child from her orphanage. I could share more stories of these children from her orphanage.

I truly believe God has his hand on this orphanage and is working there and using these children and their stories to bring His love to this wonderful CWI in China.

Please continue to pray with my that His Name will be known there. Believe He will move mountains.


"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break." - Ancient Chinese Proverb





BAI JIA BEI


Is a tradition in Northern China to welcome and celebrate life. It is a quilt made of fabric from family and friends who donated the fabric along with wishes for the child. It is said that the luck, energy and good wishes from all of the families and friends who contributed the fabric surrounds the child when she is wrapped in the quilt. The quilt is then passed down from generation to generation.


Instead of cloth I am asking for your church prayers. I would like to gather at least a hundred churches who will pray along side Greg and I as we seek to open a door for a specific group of children in China whose options to be adopted are very minimal. If you would ask your church to pray for Chloe's friends, please send me your churches name and a Bible verse and I will make a quilt to represent our quest. The quilt will be used as a fundraiser to help bring these children home.

The last of the "Faith of Noah"

Greg and I were touched by the pictures we received of Chloe. However, it was the pictures taken of her that included her best friend that tore at our hearts.

If it is possible to catch love in a photo, I have it stored on my computer under "photos of Yujun".

Greg and I decided we would do everything we could to keep these children together.

We inquired about adopting Noah at the same time as Chloe but China was not allowing adoption of two children unrelated at that time plus, we were told Noah was not available for adoption.

We went to China and visited the orphanage. We got to meet Noah and another of Chloe's closest friends, Rhys. Rhys walked right up to my husband and held up his arms to be picked up. With tears in his eyes, my husband looked at me and I knew the two children we would need to bring home together would not be Chloe and Noah but Noah and Rhys.


God is leading Greg and I to continue to fight for Noah and Rhys.

There is no way I can explain how I know this and if I did it would probably make no sense to anyone but me. Why these two boys, when there are so many other children readily available? Why not adopt children a little older so there will not be such a gap in age? Why have four children the same age? Why adopt when you are about to retire and do not know what the future holds? Why adopt when you have two boys about to enter college and tuition is so expensive? Why, why, why?

Blaise Pascal, says, "The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of."

The why's go on and on and stop where the "what if's" begin. What if our petitions fail after we feel so convicted.


I can not answer any of these questions. I just know that to not pursue this would be turning my back on everything I have learned through my personal story and as a Christian. We are to stand up for those who do not have a voice, we are to take care of the orphaned but most of all we are to follow our heart when we have tested our motives against the scriptures.

The Lord will prevail regardless of what I want. I want these two boys to be part of our family but God's plans are bigger than mine.

When Chloe entered the hospital, I wanted a successful surgery to help her have more independence with the issues we faced with her spina bifida. However, after 8 days in the hospital we were faced with the realization that one of the procedures in the operation had severe complications. After 20 days in the hospital we realized that somehow, unknown to all, that the operation had corrected Chloe's high blood pressure. Chloe no longer needed high blood pressure medication! However, the mitrofanoff I wanted for her so badly was sacrificed.


In humility, I sacrifice all for the greater good. Please remind me of this again in a few minutes! Yes, it is a constant battle and sometimes one I lose.

The hopes and dreams I had going into the hospital for Chloe's operation. Hopes and dreams of what I thought would be best changed drastically upon leaving the hospital. I was not in control.

I know the faith of building a family is nothing compared to the faith of building the Ark but the "coincidence" of stepping out in faith to bring home this little boy coined Noah was not lost on me. I am studying the Faith of Noah as I walk this path and I am learning, growing and trusting.

I humbly ask God to add these boys to our family, but if He does not, I know they are in His hands even if God does not use my hands to physically care for them.

In His Name and for His Glory,
Amy