God's Providence

Oh, how I love it!

As a teenager, I remember praying to make a difference in this world.

As a young married woman, I remember how I wanted to break a cycle I observed in my family.

As a mom with my first born, I remember being angry at the things I needed to overcome.

Being imperfect in an imperfect world surrounded by imperfect people, it is a wonder we can make anything good of our lives.

There in lies the problem. I cannot make anything good of my lie. It is only through the grace of God and His providence that I allow Him to write my story which will make a difference in this world.

In my mid-forties, a clay jar formed by the first 24 years, broken and reshaped over the next 21 years and counting, I am seeing God's providence in my life. God's story and not mine. Yes, it was hard and I had my times when I thought all I was going through was too much and it was not fair.

Then I remembered why Jesus was sent to earth.

His role to play here? Curse

"Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: For it is written, 'Cursed is everyone that hangeth on a tree". Galatians 3:13


My purpose here on earth? Cheesecake!


I am humbled by God's providence. His providence is "that preservation, care and government which God exercises over all things that He has created, in order that they may accomplish the ends for which they were created" -- ISBE, p. 2476.

I continue to pray to make a difference as well as stop the cycle but now it is a much larger role I wish to play than the little circle of my immediate family.

As I see things unfold before my eyes I am amazed at the millions of little turn of events that have led me to the place I am now.

We dream such small dreams of what God is capable of. Lately I have been dreaming bigger and bigger. As I learn more about the men and women of the Bible, I have more faith. Men and women that are just like you and me. God has used them mightily above and beyond their imaginations and he wants to use us that way as well. I am dreaming bigger because I want God to blow me out of the water when He shows me He can do so much more that I can dream possible.

We have faced another closed door in the pursuit of our boys and the children that fall in the same category as they. I cried so hard the morning I got the email that yet another agency asked the same question to the same people who have no power to do anything. However, this gave me more resolution to fight harder and not to stop.

I want to be an Esther.
I want to free these children.
God cares for them.
He wants them to have families of their own.
Families that will point them to Him.

I humbly request Lord Jesus to be used by You.

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Matthew 19:14

Finding my green thumb midlife, revealed to me my green heart

Greg and I have always joked about my lack of being able to maintain life for our potted plants. Early on, we decided silk plants were the way to go. We held onto many a silk tree throughout our Army life.



We military families start getting the itch to move about two years after an assignment. We have accepted, challenged and tackled our mission and now it is time for another charge. However, upon moving to Colorado, my luck seemed to change about a year ago. We have been in beautiful Black Forest, Colorado, for 3.5 years and Greg has turned in his retirement paperwork. When I realized we were indeed going to live in the same house more than three years. I discharged the silk trees and their years of dust and began collecting beautiful ceramic pots.

But, the pots were not the most exciting thing about being rooted here. Our sons will be able to graduate from the school they now attend and our girls will get to live in a home with a beautiful playground called nature right outside the strong walls of our home. A home that my dear husband bought for me because I desired trees after all our years of shared backyards with nary a tree.

As I was meditating on the sudden occurrence of this green thumb I had, it did not escape my thoughts that Greg's mom had passed away almost a year ago. Mrs. Gentry could make anything grow. Did she leave me this parting gift. A gift she and I knew would be near and dear to Greg's heart. No, I do not believe in such things.

Wait!

A realization hit me!

I love to water.

I love to nurture.

In the past, I had drowned all my plants by giving them too much.

Here, in Colorado, in the high desert, it is so dry and I have indoor tropical and succulent plants that love water.


We are the perfect match.

This began me thinking about my approach to mothering and our decision to home school the first 8 years of our sons' lives.

We chose to home school for several reasons:

1) Greg and I were both introverted and the constant change of schools every two years to make the schools more integrated was not a good fit for us. Our children due to Greg's military career would be uprooted every two years if not sooner.

2) Military bases are not placed in the best of school districts.

3) I was not ready to let go of my babies.

In the early years of homeschooling, everything went smoothly because I watered those boys and took care of them like no other.

However, as they began to get older I realized my husband was right and I had done too much for them. Some plants and some children just do not need to be over saturated.

The boys are in public school now. I listened to God's calling to do this and I have not regretted it one moment.

Why have I not regretted it?

No, it is not because I can sleep in and do whatever I want. It is because God has given me children that do meet my need to water, water, water and water one more time.

The orphan.



The neglected.

The abused.




The trafficked.


The forgotten.



I gave my boys up to God and He gave me 143 million children world wide that need the love of mom and dad.

Thank you God for my Green Heart and my green thumb.

In His Name,
Amy